[jimmy363]

Hey so I need some help! Desperatly!

OK so I've been dating this girl for almost 2 years. We met studying abroad and we have been back a forward between our countries living witheachother.

She just moved here for a year and a half to do her masters and we are living together in an apartment in the city

The other day she mentioned she wants a threesome. I told her that she is all I want and I don't think I could handle seeing her with someone else.

She told me she loves me and she wants to experience it and sex is only sex its not emotional at all its just a psychical reaction. I don't agree

I know I'm the guy and its supposed to be the other way around, but I'm thinking that she doesn't enjoy sex with me? Or thinks its nothing? I know she cares about me (she moved around the world for me) but I don't know if I can handle it. She thinks another girl would just add to the experience and nothing more. But she's normally so jealous when it comes to other girls

She seemed to push it,

I don't know if I'm over thinking it too but if she thinks sex is just sex does that mean she's cheating on me?

I'm so lost
Sooo confused
And I don't know if I could handle it, is this the end of us?

I feel like its something she will only push further and if I keep saying no she will find someone else.

Sorry for the spelling and hopefully you can all make sense of this.

Help!

Jim.

[Larken85]

If you are not comfortable then she needs to respect that. If not she can ship out. Your potental wife should not push you to do something that you do not feel comfortable doing. If she is going to then you need to tell her how it is going to be. I'm sorry but if she is willing to move halfway around the world for you then she is willing to accept your decisions. I would tell her that its not happening and that she needs to drop it.
She isn't cheating in my opinion. She asked your permission to have sex with another woman and I seriously doubt any foul play. Why would she ask you if she could if she already has the option.

[smoothy]

Are we talking a threesome with a second woman... or a second guy?

Fantasy and reality, don't always mesh all that well.

[Gemini54]

Threesomes are complex, and don't be deceived, they are not JUST about sex.

If you feel uncomfortable - then say so. You should NEVER have to do anything sexually that you don't agree with. Doing this to please her is relationship suicide.

How's she going to feel when you're bonking another girl in front of her?

Maybe this is the test for your relationship - if she can't accept your decision, then perhaps she's not the one for you.

[jmjoseph]

This is a tough one. She obviously has a burning desire to be with another woman. She's just using the threesome as an excuse.

Do you love her? Maybe so much to marry her one day?

Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel. And ask her if she is willing to risk the usual problems. And if this is a decision that she will regret someday.

Or you can do it, and be the envy of 85% of the rest of us guys.

Good luck.

[jimmy363]

Thanks guys I think your right. I do see myself with her in the long run and so I don't think I want to chance it by doing something like that. Ill have a chat with her about it and see what she says and I guess go from there. If she is OK with it, then she is who I think she is and we may have a future, and if she isn't then we probley don't have a future and I might as well?

[lea_09]

This is every guy's dream and you think way too deeply into this. She is right about experimenting, but it is also a way to let out frustration. It is just something to spice up the sex life. I believe that she trusts you a lot to do a threesome with another woman.

[Larken85]

Jimmy I know what I said earlier. I just want to also state that you can have a three-some without killing the relationship. And jmjoseph is right, if you do get this and stay together then I'm sorry but even I'd be jealous lol. I say good luck with whatever you choose. Also BE CAREFUL, there are unspoken rules about this that all women have before accepting this. You need her to set out clear and percise boundries for you cause if you cross those boundries you're done for. For example, she may not want you to touch the other woman at all, or she may be willing to let you touch but nothing more, or in the ideal world she would be willing to let you have sex with the other woman. I mean it could be something like you can look, you can touch and have sex with her, but you CANNOT kiss her. Just make sure that if you go through with it you know what you are expected not to do and do not do it. Have to say that if my fiancé suggested the same thing I would be all for it but I know her rules would be something to the effect of I can't even look at the other girl and especially not while my girlfriend and I are making love. She'd cut my balls off lol.