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    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 4, 2012, 08:19 PM
    Is this a good love poem??
    Im in grade 10 and I had to write a poem about someone I cared about. So I'm writing about this girl I love. Is this any good? And if you are a girl in high school could you say that in your answer. Thanks a lot!


    My love is golden like a glistening angel in the sky.
    Golden like a splendid sunset in the summer.
    Her voice is like a soothing melody that warms my heart.
    Her beautiful brown eyes are like sweet chocolates that
    brighten my day.
    Her dark hair shines like those of a beloved princess.
    She has the silliest yet most charming smile this world has
    ever seen.
    I love everything about her, nothing I hate.
    I can only hope she believes me when I express my
    love.
    But one thing she knows is that we’re better together.


    I will shower her with my unmatched love.
    I will never leave her or grieve her and I will always
    believe her.
    I will always care for her when she’s down, and celebrate
    with her when she’s up.
    I will protect her with all my might, never will I let her feel
    scared.
    My fists will punish any soul who dares to harm my
    precious angel.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Jun 4, 2012, 08:26 PM
    Very nice poem! How about "My love is golden like the halo of a glistening angel in the sky." Angels wear white, but their halos are made of gold.

    Also, "Her dark hair shines like that of a beloved princess" and "But one thing she knows is that we're better together than apart."

    I went to high school when there were dinosaurs roaming the earth.
    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Very nice poem! How about "My love is golden like the halo of a glistening angel in the sky." Angels wear white, but their halos are made of gold.

    Also, "Her dark hair shines like that of a beloved princess" and "But one thing she knows is that we’re better together than apart."

    I went to high school when there were dinosaurs roaming the earth.
    Thanks a lot!!
    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2012, 08:54 PM
    Do you think that it sounds weird if I write something like "my heart skips a beat when I see her"? Like after the line "I love everything about her, nothing I hate". If it's a good idea, can anybody help me make that a good line?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Jun 5, 2012, 09:10 PM
    Every time I catch sight of her or even just hear her name, my heart skips a beat.

    (You're so much better at this!)
    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2012, 10:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Every time I catch sight of her or even just hear her name, my heart skips a beat.

    (You're so much better at this!)
    What do you mean I'm better than this?
    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 5, 2012, 10:26 PM
    Ohh oops. Better at this**
    Haha I'm actually not
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Jun 5, 2012, 10:34 PM
    You did a great job writing the poem, so I trust you can whip up one more line. :D
    canucks101's Avatar
    canucks101 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 5, 2012, 11:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You did a great job writing the poem, so I trust you can whip up one more line. :D
    Haha thanks. I made a couple more. I have to read this in front of my class tomorrow. A class full of girls. I'm the only guy. I hope they don't think it's horrible
    qwertyuioop's Avatar
    qwertyuioop Posts: 87, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jun 14, 2012, 02:00 AM
    Lol I'm sure u would do great!
    And yes I'm a girl in high school it sounds very nice!
    Good luck!

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