[tiffanydoug1228]

I am engaged to a wonderful man who loves my kids dearly and they love him and he is the only dad they know. I want to change there last names to his how do I do it? Also they all have different dads. 5 years ago went through cps with two of my kids and they gave me full custody. Do I still need to get permission from birth dad. And my youngest doesn't know her bio dad and he is not on birth certificate do I need his permission to change her last name too? The reason for the name change is so we can be a complete family with all children with the same last name

[kcomissiong]

First... a name change doesn't make a complete family. Its cosmetic. It may prevent others from asking questions, but if your partner's love and support is what creates his relationship, not a last name. It also does not give him any rights regarding your children, and if you are trying to blend your family, then making him their legal parent should be your goal.

I don't know you specific circumstances regarding custody or your location, but I do know that generally, you need to consent of BOTH parents for a name change, or a compelling reason why the other parent's consent shouldn't be required. Changing your childrens' last name to the name of a man you haven't even married isn't a good reason. You may need to establish the paternity of the third child, and THEN seek consent, which creates an extra hurdle.

As I mentioned previously, the name change accomplishes nothing in the way of creating a legal relationship. If something were to happen to you, he has NO rights to your children, and that won't change after you get married because he isn't their father. To do this correctly, you need to consider a step-parent adoption, which of course requires a step-parent. Many places won't even consider a step-parent adoption until you have been married for a year, and you will again need to locate and gain the consent of the fathers involved, or provide a VERY compelling reason as to why you shouldn't need it. (And that is very difficult to do) For uninvolved father's who honestly don't care, child support is usually a very compelling reason to consent.If you have not sought to establish a support order, you need to do so immediately for the benefit of your children.

[ScottGem]

A person's name is a legal identification. It requires a court order to change the name. For a minor this also means getting the approval of BOTH parents for the court to approve it. Or, at least showing that you have tried.

But, as kc said, this gives your fiancée no legal rights to the children. So the better option would be to have him adopt the children. And to do that you will need an attorney.

So my advice would be to start consulting a local attorney. The attorney can tell you what will be required for adoption. You will probably have to be married for a time before he can adopt. You will have to get the fathers permission for each child or show a good faith effort to get that permission.

Even if you just want to do the name change and not a full adoption, you will still need to go to court. However, a person can use any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. However, schools and other forms of ID will require their legal names.