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    ConfusedGirl87's Avatar
    ConfusedGirl87 Posts: 11, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #21

    May 29, 2011, 02:16 PM
    Well if you had read my first post you would have seen that this problem was already there when we met. He had the problem before we met too, so please don't try point th finger at me. I have been very supportive and encouraged him to get this sorted out because it isn't a problem that can't be sorted. Try and understand that it is because he doesn't seem to care to sort it out that we have been fighting, which has only been recently. I do not HARP or nag, I don't try make him feel uncomfortable. I love him very much and try and make him feel sexy and encourage us to make love. I care a lot about him and I think that you are perceiving my situation to be just like the women you know situations.

    You aren't really a saint, I was being sarcastic. You must be American, it would explain your rudeness and cocky attitude though. I don't need your advice thank -you because being tactical would have meant first getting all the facts and then drawing a conclusion from it. You were more than welcome to ask me more questions to first understand the entire scope, as a paragraph definitely doesn't sum it up completely.

    I am not innocent in this and you could have asked me questions about me if you felt it was necessary or could lead to a solution. However you chose just to assume I am an uncaring person who will end up leaving him so I should let him find a caring person. If you really are as compassionate as you are trying to come across as then show compassion to everyone in every situation, that means me and my boyfriend, not just who feel deserves it.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #22

    May 29, 2011, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ConfusedGirl87 View Post
    please don't try point th finger at me.
    You pointed the finger at yourself right from the get-go:
    the sex is ruining us and I don't think I can be with someone with this problem forever? Am I selfish?
    Judy and I are telling you that, if you cannot continue on like this for the rest of your life with him, you need to break it off and find someone who can give you the fullness of a physical relationship (and hope he never has any sexual problems that would result from a diseased prostate or his becoming wheelchair-bound or bedbound).
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #23

    May 29, 2011, 03:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ConfusedGirl87 View Post
    Here are two definitions that you may need to take reference to.
    Are you being nasty and accusing me of being a know-it-all? I suggested a counselor for you so you could get your head on straight. I reminded you that life doesn't always give us peaches and cream, but too often lemons which we can use to make lemonade -- or not.

    I AM a counselor, plus I do have personal experience with exactly what you have posted about, as has Judy. She and I know the problems ahead of you and have only best wishes for you. You have a few hard choices to make. We know that and understand what they are. We made our choices, and hope your decision will be a good one for all concerned.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #24

    May 29, 2011, 03:12 PM

    Your insults aimed at WG are uncalled for. You owe her an apology which I guarantee you're never going to give her.

    OP just wants to argue and justify her position - plus she gives revenge reddies.

    Time to close this thread.
    hkstroud's Avatar
    hkstroud Posts: 11,929, Reputation: 899
    Home Improvement & Construction Expert
     
    #25

    May 29, 2011, 03:17 PM

    You must be American, it would explain your rudeness and cocky attitude though.
    You must not be American. That would explain your inability to understand what you are being told.

    That might also explain the medical advise you have been given.
    Your boyfriend's problem is (ED) erectile dysfunction. That would be diagnosed by the fact that he cannot achieve and maintain an erection. Not by blood work.
    One solution might be Viagra. Maybe your socialized medical system does not cover that medical condition.


    And since you are handing out definitions, the word is tactful not tactical.

    Definition of TACTFUL
    Possessing or exhibiting tact; considerate and discreet: a tactful person; a tactful remark.

    Definition of TACTICAL
    1
    : of or relating to combat tactics:


    Then again in your case tactical may be correct.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #26

    May 29, 2011, 03:25 PM

    Out of greenies - but you are due one! I'm an English major and I missed it.
    ConfusedGirl87's Avatar
    ConfusedGirl87 Posts: 11, Reputation: 0
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    #27

    May 29, 2011, 03:31 PM
    Look WonderGirl I am sorry for insulting you and Judy Kay for insulting you too! It isn't what I came on here to do, I really came seeking advice. Just wish you had both not felt the need to make me feel like my feelings were inadequate just because I have not formulated a positive plan. Don't think I would be on here if I weren't seeking a positive plan.

    So sorry, won't post here again as to not offend anyone. Wasn't trying to insult 50 years olds, maybe my thinking just wasn't easy to write out. Didn't want to insult you because you are American, nothing wrong with Americans. I love travelling to america. So I am sorry. Like I said I will find advice somewhere else and hope that you can forgive me for my comments.

    Formulating an idea about who I am through this thread is up to you but I do feel that there is a lot more to me than what you have made yourselves believe about me.

    Ciao

    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #28

    May 29, 2011, 03:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ConfusedGirl87 View Post
    Look WonderGirl I am sorry for insulting you
    I accept your apology.
    Formulating an idea about who I am through this thread is up to you but I do feel that there is a lot more to me than what you have made yourselves believe about me.
    Your posts were driven by what seemed to be a self-centered attitude -- not "How can I help my man?" but "poor me to be stuck in this situation." Had you led off with parts of this particular post when you are bidding farewell, you would have set up an entirely different scenario with a positive attitude.

    Like I said, Judy and I have been where you are now. It's too bad we three couldn't have worked together and shared possible solutions. I wish you well in the future.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #29

    May 29, 2011, 04:05 PM

    Closed

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