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    amador78's Avatar
    amador78 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 7, 2011, 09:54 PM
    I am having a relationship with my exboyfriend and boyfriend
    My exboyfriend and me been seeing each other since we broke up, I always talk to him because he is always there for me. And my current boyfriend knows that my ex is angry because he is with me. I love my boyfriend but when I need money he can't never provide, my ex boyfriend helps me every time I need money but to get it I have to have sex with him and after that I feel bad for doing it. I love my ex but I am not in love with him. I am in love with my boyfriend but I don't know why I do this. I need help!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 7, 2011, 10:15 PM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...im-560472.html

    He lives in another state and has your son, so which is it, sex for seeing your son, or sex for money? Either way it needs to stop, and since you have another kid, with no money then you must be on state aid, and they can get a lawyer for you, and help you straighten this unhealthy mess out.

    If your afraid to do that, then keep being his sex toy.
    amador78's Avatar
    amador78 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 8, 2011, 10:51 AM
    You are right about this is crazy and don't to be a sex toy. There are laws to get my son but my ex keeps telling me that if I get lawyer he will come to kill me and all my family. He thinks I will take my son to my country but I will not do that to him. I am not like him
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 8, 2011, 11:04 AM
    Why can't you make your own money, or live within your means so that you don't have to prostitute yourself to your ex in the first place.

    Why do you allow threats of death against you and your family over your son, and not immediately go to the police, the CPS/CAS. If you believe he is capable of what you say is capable of, lives are in danger, and yet, you continue to sleep with him for money?

    Something isn't adding up here.

    IF you can state more of the truth, including why he has your son, and you don't, and what legal measures are in place regarding custody, etc. it is hard to take you seriously based on what you have said so far.

    Nobody, and I mean nobody, can justify having sex for money, as a sort of virtuous act in order to see their child, or as a preventive measure to avoid death threats, or as a means to support oneself as being a reasonable thing to do.

    So what's the real story here?
    amador78's Avatar
    amador78 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 8, 2011, 12:18 PM
    Jake I do have a good job and actually I make more than him sometimes. This has been bothering me for a long time. I think he brain wash me by scaring me with his abusive behavior. I am not from America and that is why he use to tell me those things but now I know so much about laws here. I just think I needed advice from someone else. I am actually working on getting a lawyer so I can get custody of my son.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Mar 8, 2011, 01:39 PM
    Ok, well that paints a brighter picture then, good to know.

    Please go to a women's centre, particularly a women's legal centre. I'm not sure what is available where you live, but where I am in Canada, there are not for profit women's organizations that offer free legal advice and will help you file necessary paperwork, and will make referrals. The most important thing you can do now is not compromise yourself anymore, by being subject to emotional, sexual, and threatening blackmail that involves threats of death.

    With knowledge, there is power, and with that power, you can be informed enough to have a plan to accomplish what you want to do. There is so much help out there. You don't need to be afraid, you just need to get on a better path for yourself, and for your future.

    All the best of luck to you Amador.
    amador78's Avatar
    amador78 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 8, 2011, 02:06 PM
    Thank you so much Jake for all your advices I feel much better now.

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