[vanheart]

You keep repeating the same things over & over.

You post, but don't really listen.

Its up to you, not him, us, or anyone.

Time to own up, show some strength & stop running back every time he "decides" to text you.

That's just pathetic.

You came here about false hope & you're still there.

[friend4u178]

Peek

You came here 6 weeks ago asking how to get over your false hope and move on , you've received lots of good advice from people giving their free time and trying to help you.

Your hearing the advise but your not listening , do you really want the pain to stop or are you happy to go for months on end in complete sadness??

Your call , we can only tell you what you have to do , you're the one that has to DO IT !!!

[peekcachu]

I understand what you are all are saying. And trust me, I AM trying. But you have to understand, this is my first love and lost. I'm having a hard time letting go. And that's me being honest.


I hate feeling weak and girlie. I want to be stronger than this!! This person is taking control of my rational mind. I know I have to be stronger, but I'm human.

I will make mistakes.

[talaniman]

Had you been NC for 6 months, you would be ready for the second love... and lost(?).

Just saying.

[vanheart]

Nice one. Still more excuses.

Yes, you are human. And humans change.

[amicon]

Quote: this person is taking control of my rational mind. Unquote.

Sorry ,I beg to differ,you are doing this to yourself,nobody else is.

You are allowing yourself to stay stuck,instead of making choices that will advance your healing from the breakup and start moving on.

[vanheart]

Don't think that you really want to move on, peek.

Sounds deeper. Not just this guy. Maybe you're just an attention magnet.
And when you don't get it, you cry. Jumping into relationships for the wrong reasons. With jerks.

Maybe talk to a therapist. Doesn't sound like you really want to know how to heal or why this is happening.

[vanheart]

"this is my first love"

Why do you say that? How old are you again? I get confused with the thread merging.

I guess you got to define what love means. Wasn't this obvously.

Its all about you deciding what works & what doesn't.

How aware you are.

It takes two. First you and what you want.

You can love all you want, just direct it.

[peekcachu]

Van- I'm 28. I'm angry that I can't make this work for me. I'm angry (at myself) that I don't have enough will power to leave this guy alone.

[vanheart]

Anger is good. Use it to rise above. You're probably angry because you are losing the false hope. Good.

To stop being fixated on one thing. Crazy.

You will learn soon enough that this guy doesn't define you, nor should anyone.

Start gaining control over your life. The is just an episode.

Learn & rock it. Stop wallowing.

Unless you are one of those people that enjoys being miserable.

[friend4u178]

Van- I'm 28. I'm angry that I can't make this work for me. I'm angry (at myself) that I dont have enough will power to leave this guy alone.

Unfortunately until you do you'll be stuck in pain. How long are you willing to put up with that??

[peekcachu]

I'm not one to be miserable, but I do tend to over-think things. I'm working on that. I just feel that I made some progress and now I'm back to where I started. Hphgmf!

[vanheart]

It takes time.

Work harder.

[peekcachu]

I'm going on casual dates, is that too soon?

[vanheart]

As long as you don't rebound & use that to relieve the pain from the last one.

Would be a bad move.

Be aware. Take some time to heal & get your act together first.

Its good to have fun in the meantime, just as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else in the process, by rushing in.

[peekcachu]

I just want to try to convince myself that there are others. I'm so tunnel visioned.

[vanheart]

That's what Im saying.

Heal first. Then be more aware of who you are & what you have to offer.

And the kind of people who want in your life. Not just guys.

There a whole world out there.

Its very easy to wallow when we go through breakups. Its normal.
But nows a crucial time to REALLY start.

The more you work on healing, the more in control & empowered you will be.

A stronger person for everyone.

You will look back at this & chuckle to yourself. Knowing that you've moved closer to being a more together individual.

You can do it Peek. I know it. Just remove all BS, and look for the things that make you feel happy. Im sure you have some of those things already.

You've just lost sight of them because of this episode.

[peekcachu]

Thank you and good night

[amicon]

Of course there are,and will be others-but right now-heal and find your feet again.

Learn how to be happy in your own skin,on your own.

[peekcachu]

It hit me while driving home tonight. I had myself a cry. I miss him so much.