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    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
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    #161

    Apr 5, 2010, 09:57 PM

    You are going to miss him. Maybe for a while. Just breathe right now and drink some hot chocolate and watch another good movie. Lay down in a cozy spot in your house. Make yourself comfortable. Cry if you have to in that cozy spot. Then close your eyes. Relax. Tomorrow do something fun. You have to write down short term goals to keep you distracted. The people here help me so much. I am very emotional and the people here take me serious and never leave me in the dirt even though I can seem like I don't listen. They lift me up at my worst and I am giving you advice that works. You have to keep doing it and stay away from anything that relates to him at all. That's part of taking care of yourself so that you can feel better soon. Tomorrow I will give my dog a haircut and go to school and then the gym. Set little goals for the week and do them. Please! I don't want anybody going through this. Now go relax and know that we are here for you! You can do this if I can. Sweet dreams!
    peekcachu's Avatar
    peekcachu Posts: 80, Reputation: 15
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    #162

    Apr 6, 2010, 09:13 PM

    I only thought of him 10 times today...
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #163

    Apr 6, 2010, 09:27 PM

    Try for 5 tomorrow.
    BWK10's Avatar
    BWK10 Posts: 127, Reputation: 34
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    #164

    Apr 6, 2010, 09:35 PM

    Good, keep up the good work. It gets way easier, trust me... I only did it a few months ago. Now, I rarely think of her... and I have myself a lovely, beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who I wouldn't trade for the world.
    peekcachu's Avatar
    peekcachu Posts: 80, Reputation: 15
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    #165

    Apr 6, 2010, 09:40 PM

    Thank you for the support.
    I'm just wondering though, all that said that it will be fine are in a relationship and is currently happy in the relationship...
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #166

    Apr 6, 2010, 09:45 PM

    Huh?
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #167

    Apr 6, 2010, 10:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by peekcachu View Post
    Thank you for the support.
    I'm just wondering though, all that said that it will be fine are in a relationship and is currently happy in the relationship.....
    That's because they went through their healing process and have moved on to bigger and better things... point is , it will get better it just takes time , and then you'll be able to move on to something new just like they have.

    Your being impatient and need to learn to deal with the hurt , because it doesn't just go away. Then with time , very gradually you'll start to realise what we've been saying all along.
    bev_13's Avatar
    bev_13 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #168

    Apr 7, 2010, 07:22 AM
    Stop thinking about him , try to keep yourself busy. I know how you feel I've been through it. Its very very hard, you cry everyday and wake up every morning thinking maybe today he will talk to me... there's always hope... but that's not how to live. Do something you like cook , go shopping , go for movies... cry if you need to but you need to be strong so let him lead his life . Slowly you'll think about him less and it won't hurt so much . If it was meant to be it will happen.
    the_original's Avatar
    the_original Posts: 177, Reputation: 51
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    #169

    Apr 7, 2010, 07:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by peekcachu View Post
    I only thought of him 10 times today.....
    Your allowed to think of him... what you SHOULDN'T do is dwell on it and let the memories bring you down. Maybe every time you think of him, try and think of something not so nice about him right after. Don't make yourself hate him, but try and make yourself realize or come to an understanding that you will be better off without all this stress that he brings into your life. This will get better!
    peekcachu's Avatar
    peekcachu Posts: 80, Reputation: 15
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    #170

    Apr 7, 2010, 03:48 PM

    Update:
    *note: I did not make contact.

    1am in the morning, long story short, he text saying how he misses cuddling with me and wanted to make love but wasn't looking to be in a relationship. I texted him and thanked him for his honestly and that the past 3 months was the worst I've ever felt in my adult life and that I will always love him, and wished him the best and told him I need to continue my healing and that I will end contact. That is my last text.

    I never thought that he would do this. The love is definitely gone. I'm more gun-ho about my healing process. I will get over this! I will be fine!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #171

    Apr 7, 2010, 04:12 PM

    You certainly will. No more texts.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #172

    Apr 7, 2010, 04:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by peekcachu View Post
    update:
    *note: I did not make contact.

    1am in the morning, long story short, he text saying how he misses cuddling with me and wanted to make love but wasn't looking to be in a relationship. !
    See , he just wants to use you as his Booty call now , good on you for not falling for it.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #173

    Apr 7, 2010, 04:37 PM

    Once you seriously go NC, after a while, you will start to feel empowered & in control. Regardless of his selfish attempts, if that ever even happens again.

    And you won't even worry about it. It will just be your routine, you may even wake up one day & realize that you won't love him forever.

    Because there will be no point.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #174

    Apr 7, 2010, 08:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by peekcachu View Post
    update:
    *note: I did not make contact.

    1am in the morning, long story short, he text saying how he misses cuddling with me and wanted to make love but wasn't looking to be in a relationship.
    Well, its normal to want that comfort of the familiar when you are feeling lousy... and wanting sex isn't in itself bad yknow... no its no great revelation that he's looking for and missing some intimate touch.

    But you knew it wasn't a healthy step in the right direction.

    I know you've struggled with wanting that attention and sometimes that's led you to actions you maybe regretted later. Glad you're doing the right thing for yourself.
    peekcachu's Avatar
    peekcachu Posts: 80, Reputation: 15
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    #175

    Apr 7, 2010, 09:43 PM

    I just feel really sad that he would be o.k. with sleeping with me and not want me in his life.

    It is soooooo different from what he was showing me for the past 2 years. I'm just sad.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #176

    Apr 7, 2010, 10:13 PM

    Stop.

    It's a guys version of staying pals & getting action when he doesn't have something else lined up. Remember that text. "I wanna sleep w/you, but dont wanna be with you"

    HA!! Is that what you want? Or care about now? Someone like that?
    Screw that. Are you that way?

    All you really need to think about is when someone treats & acts this way, wants you only for shags, doesn't want you, basically.

    They don't deserve our time our thoughts.

    I suggest you spend some time reading back through both of your threads a bunch of times.

    Still seems like you have false hope.

    Actions, remember. That means you too now. Figure out what makes you happy.

    Doesn't sound like its him.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #177

    Apr 8, 2010, 07:42 PM

    Hey, was just thinking about you & wanted to say that sitting idle & wallowing is the worst thing.

    Doesn't do anything & makes us feel like crap.

    Rise above the BS & take a look around. Inside first, though.

    You can do it. Lots of people do.
    peekcachu's Avatar
    peekcachu Posts: 80, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #178

    Apr 10, 2010, 10:21 AM

    Another horrible setback:

    My ex. Texted back that he was sorry about the "booty text" and wasn't thinking when he wrote them and that he wanted to see me. Stupid me, I said I was available to meet the next day and he said he was busy all weekend. I wanted to meet and ask WHY he texted and really get clarity once and for all about this horrible phase of my life.

    He keeps texting me and I wanted to talk (on the phone) because my phone takes forever to text and its kindda not an over the text topic. He says he is not against talking but he is at work (that was 3pm). I didn't make any contact the rest of the day. At around 2:30am, I woke up and couldn't get back to bed. Decided to check my phone, no missed called or text. I was done. I text and said that my answers were answered with the lack of response and that I was sad that I wasn't even worth a phone call to him anymore.

    D@* it! Why do I keep letting this person do this to me! I now hate him and the way he is treating me.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #179

    Apr 10, 2010, 10:25 AM

    Why do you?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #180

    Apr 10, 2010, 10:38 AM

    Why indeed?
    Can you finally let go of the false hope now?

    Total NC and start the healing process.

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