[amicon]

Jayjay- I asked Benson if she could let it go- I didn't tell her.
Benson I hope you re feeling OK today.

[benson1]

Hi there
I need some advice, my ex broke up with me a few months ago. To cut to the chase he explained it was because he was confused about how he was feeling about me. Anyway although it was a struggle I managed to limit contact, which I think made us realise that we did miss each other so we got back together,

Everything has been grand so far, we have really enjoyed each others company and he has been great really attentive etc. However the other day he showed my an email reply from a mutual friend, just to really catch up on how she was doing.

Anyway, I don't think he relised that I could also see what he had written. She had asked about us and said she was glad we are back together etc, and his reply was that he enjoys being with me and realised that he is happier with me than without, he said he was not sure if that the best reason to be together "but there we go".

Since the break up all his friends said he was lost with out me etc, but I still have a naggling feeling, is he just with me out of routine? We have only been together for a year right enough.

Should I let this go? I fell a bit confused and concerned. Am I being a little paranoid ?Please help

[loovefool]

This looks similar to my thread. I would be in fear too, if I were you. I don't know honesty, my bf's just dumped me and now textes me. I think we've both been strung along. I'm sorry. Do what you feel is right and take care of yourself.

[Imabadman]

Why don't you start with talking to one another? Tell him your thoughts and feeling, listen to his. Open communication is key. Try to understand what went wrong, discuss what you're, both of you, are going to do about it to avoid problems in the future. Give it a try, it just may put your mind at ease.

[benson1]

I know I have to say something, I just don't want him to think I am snooping around his emails, so I don't want him to feel guilty every time I bring up the break up, I feel like I'm stuck. He has given me no reason to think like this, I am the one that went snooping and found this! I don't know what to do...

[J_9]

How are you snooping if he showed you the email?

[benson1]

Cause I know he didn't know that the sent email was there, when I asked him what he said about us, he said he never said anything

[talaniman]

Why wouldn't you just tell him you could see the reply for yourself? Wouldn't that be the more honest way to have the conversation? Now your going to wonder what he is hiding, and you're afraid to just lay the cards on the table. At least you would be talking and not assuming and presuming.

You don't seem to have learned the value of honest communications, so here we go again, trying to force a relationship between two partners that never got to evaluate their feelings for each other without influence. Of course through the "limited" contact you both reached the same conclusion, you missed each other, how? I don't know, but for sure no effort was ever made to deal with the issues that broke you up.

I suspect while one of you was talking, the other wasn't listening, so we are back to square on, trying to work on things without honest communications, and from experience, that never works out.

[amicon]

Hi! Tal is so right-unless you really start talking as in honest communication what has either of you learnt from the breakup? I hope it works out for you but please start talking and listening. :-)