[merissam]

Hello.. im really paranoid,I'm always scared if something is going to go wrong,but I know that's not me.. but here are something that I have been paranoid about,being left out,friends getting mad at me,doing something bad and getting in trouble,and all of that stuff,and I feel if I keep on being scared,my friends won't like me,cause my friends aren't scared of anything.. sometimes I feel left out.. if I stop I don't feel right and I get scared,sometimes I am deppressed.. please help,I don't know what to do..

[Torrid13]

Hmm.

I would definitely ask a psychologist. It sounds like you suffer from severe anxiety.

Do you ever hear voices or see things or think someone is always after you?

[HelpinHere]

I would have to disagree. How old are you, you sound about fifteen? You also sound female?
It sounds completely common for kids that age.
Trust me, your "friends" are scared, they are plenty scared. Just because they go around and do stupid stuff doesn't mean they're not scared. In fact, it probably just means they don't have the maturity and respect you have... but I'll need more information before I decide on what I think on that one.

Your post is a little bit confusing.
Did you mean getting left out of everything your friends do because your scared, because they're going and doing stupid things, then getting in trouble and mad at you for not being there?
Or,
Did you mean all of those things as separate points? (left out, mad friends, trouble)

Either way, your REAL friends wouldn't get mad at you for staying out of trouble, and if these people you call your "friends" do, then you need some new friends.
Don't give into peer pressure. Be who you are and don't let anyone change that. If these "friends" and you are so incompatible, you should go find some kids your age who like to do the kinds of things you like to do, the "not-stupid-and-not-getting-into-trouble-and-won't-get-mad-if-you-don't-go" kind of friends.

[Torrid13]

I don't think it's completely normal. A kid being worried all the time about everything and depression? It's clearly affecting her life, and she even pointed out that her friends don't seem to be scared about all the things she is.

But you stated a good point: it's very hard to get a clear picture with so little information.

I asked if she was seeing things and thinking someone is always out to get her because all that worrying/paranoia with depression sounds like someone I know who has paranoid schizophrenia and has had it for most of her life. I'm not saying this girl has it, but it's always a good idea to ask other questions like hallucinations and whatnot.

Or I could have completely misread this whole thing. Not sure. But it's always good to have multiple perspectives.

[merissam]

I don't think it's completely normal. A kid being worried all the time about everything and depression? It's clearly affecting her life, and she even pointed out that her friends don't seem to be scared about all the things she is.

But you stated a good point: it's very hard to get a clear picture with so little information.

I asked if she was seeing things and thinking someone is always out to get her because all that worrying/paranoia with depression sounds like someone I know who has paranoid schizophrenia and has had it for most of her life. I'm not saying this girl has it, but it's always a good idea to ask other questions like hallucinations and whatnot.

Or I could have completely misread this whole thing. Not sure. But it's always good to have multiple perspectives.

Idkk,I'm just always scared if I am going to get somebody mad,and I always catious too.

[HelpinHere]

Yes, it is true...
The OP posted, more coherently than some, but it wasn't the easiest thing to read.

What really sticks out is this:

here are something that i have been paranoid about,being left out,friends getting mad at me,doing something bad and getting in trouble,and all of that stuff,and i feel if i keep on being scared,my friends won't like me,cause my friends aren't scared of anything

After reading this half of it a few times, I realized there were three different ways to interpret this (that I find).

Also, I don't jump straight on the paranoia and depression. I know that I felt, at that age (assuming the fifteen) I had a lot of these conditions. Lots of kids do. But, the fact of the matter is, these kids do not KNOW what paranoia and depression is.
They think paranoia is being worried too much.
They think depression is being sad.

True, those are the basics, but that's all it is. There is MUCH more to paranoia and depression than than, and unless a kid says "I have been diagnosed with paranoia and depression" or I can really sense it in their post, then I'll think for the positive before the conditions... (that's me, and optimist!).

[HelpinHere]

idkk,im just always scared if i am going to get somebody mad,and i always catious too.

There is nothing wrong with being cautious. So, you're not a risk taker, you're not adventurous, so what?

Sure, you'll have a steady job, and live life well. You get what needs to get done, and don't go overboard. You never have that thrill in life, but you don't need it because you're happy.
You don't play the stock market. You aren't going to strike it rich, but you aren't going to lose it all either.
(wow, is it just me or is that written like one of those horroscope thingies?)

Anyway, I don't like the word cautious, I prefer "prudent"! :D

Well, what kind of "friends" do you have? If they really would get mad at you for being who you are, then you need some new friends who will accept you.

[Torrid13]

I wasn't focusing on just the words "paranoid" and "depressed," and I certainly wasn't trying to tell her she has a mental illness.

I KNOW there's much more to paranoia and depression because I suffer from it. In any case, I was asking my questions based on what she's afraid of and the consistency of her fear of things. Kids shouldn't be afraid all the time about everything, and she said that when she tries to stop worrying (if I am reading that correctly), she becomes afraid. But seeing as how it all involves social situations, it could social anxiety she struggles with, especially since she hasn't said she hears things and sees them.

True, the terms "depressed" and "paranoid" are commonly misused terms, but even younger kids know when something's wrong or they're not feeling right.

No doubt pre-teens and teens have anxieties about things, but constant, fear-inducing anxieties that affect relationships, or cause concern that they will? I have a hard time believing all children/pre-teens suffer from that.

But you should talk to your friends, OP, if you feel they are pressuring you into doing things that aren't smart. And talk to your parents; I'm sure they have great insight that could help you.

[HelpinHere]

Sorry, Torrid, I think we are both in confusion here.
I wasn't talking to YOU about paranoia and depression (as you were talking about anxiety) but rather the OP, telling her that, not you. I was not intending any of that to be focused at you, but rather the OP. Sorry for the confusion, and that you though it was directed at you.

I'm also not saying that "every kid has it" or that it is "normal", but rather that it is more common for teenagers to worry about the consequences of their actions than most people realize. Some kids actually don't do the first thing that pops into their head, but actually thinks about their actions.

Also, THIS is how I read that part you are referring to in the OP:
"sometimes i feel left out..if i stop i don't feel right and i get scared"
I interpreted it as "I feel left out because I worry about the consequences. If I stop worrying, I do something, it doesn't feel right, and I get scared."
How did you read that? (This would be so much easier if the OP was in correct grammar... xD)

[Torrid13]

Oh okay, I was feeling a little scolded for a second. I'm not trying to say your points aren't valid or anything; this thread is just so confusing to read!

For all I know, she could be telling me I look fat in my pajamas or that she kicked my dog!

You're probably right; the run-on sentences and the lateness of the night are probably messing with my vision and/or thinking skills. I honestly have no idea what to say in response to this thread. I've read over the original post at least 20 times, and each time I'm still not able to put the pieces together. AH IT'S A MADHOUSE!

[rosebud135]

Get NEW FRIENDS! Nobody should ever make you feel that you need to do something that you don't want to!! Geeeeeeeeeze some people are unbelievable! (your friends not you!) If they call you a weenie or something then they just aren't worth your time!

[N0help4u]

Butbeing left out... ask your friends if they want to do something or go somewhere before they have the chance to ask anybody. Be realistic if they don't ask you maybe they were only allowed to ask one or two friends.

Friends getting mad at me... do they generally get mad at you? If so what types of things are they getting mad about?

Doing something bad and getting in trouble... again are you generally getting in trouble and doing bad stuff?

And I feel if I keep on being scared,my friends won't like me,cause my friends aren't scared of anything... you are most likely admiring things about them and feeling inferior.
Try working on yourself image and having more confidence.

Sometimes I feel left out.. if I stop I don't feel right and I get scared,sometimes I am deppressed.. please help,I don't know what to do... Maybe try not to analyze everything and just go with the flow and enjoy life. Have heart to heart discussions with your friends on their outlook on life and friends.

Maybe you should look for new friends. Do not do things because they are doing them or you feel pressured

[merissam]

Oh okay, I was feeling a little scolded for a second. I'm not trying to say your points aren't valid or anything; this thread is just so confusing to read!

For all I know, she could be telling me I look fat in my pajamas or that she kicked my dog!

You're probably right; the run-on sentences and the lateness of the night are probably messing with my vision and/or thinking skills. I honestly have no idea what to say in response to this thread. I've read over the original post at least 20 times, and each time I'm still not able to put the pieces together. AH IT'S A MADHOUSE!

I talked to my mom about it and she says that she can look into taking me to a psychiatrist and I can talk to them and they can tell me how to not be as afraid and catious as I am.I am 12 years old,7th grade,some things that I am scared of is if I say something that a friend doesn't like and they judge me,sometimes I don't want to be their friend,and sometimes I do.sometimes I think of bad stuff that is going to happen,like I think,if I say this omg this is going to happen.I don't know how to stop thinking about bad stuff,it is ruining my life..

[Torrid13]

It's good that you talked to your mom about it; hopefully they can help you figure out what's going on and hopefully put your mind at ease.

Keep me updated; I'd really like to know how everything turns out! And good luck, Dear. :)

[merissam]

butbeing left out....ask your friends if they want to do something or go somewhere before they have the chance to ask anybody. Be realistic if they don't ask you maybe they were only allowed to ask one or two friends.

friends getting mad at me......do they generally get mad at you? If so what types of things are they getting mad about?

doing something bad and getting in trouble.....again are you generally getting in trouble and doing bad stuff?

and i feel if i keep on being scared,my friends won't like me,cause my friends aren't scared of anything......you are most likely admiring things about them and feeling inferior.
Try working on your self image and having more confidence.

sometimes i feel left out..if i stop i don't feel right and i get scared,sometimes i am deppressed..please help,i don't know what to do......Maybe try not to analyze everything and just go with the flow and enjoy life. Have heart to heart discussions with your friends on their outlook on life and friends.

Maybe you should look for new friends. Do not do things because they are doing them or you feel pressured

They get mad at me sometimes because I don't like something they like,and if another person like the same thing they like then,my "friend" hangs out with them and not me,my friend is very confusing,she hangsout with me and is all happy with me,then she goes and ignores me.. I hate it,but I don't want to not be her friend.. like one day she'll be bestfriends with someone and the next day and will be bestfriends with somebody else.. and leaves me and her other "friends" and ignores them for a day or two.I don't know which side of her I want to believe,and I'm scared if I say that she is annoying me and will turn everyone against me.trust me,she did that before,if I say well your kind of getting annoying.shell say ohh your SUCH a good friend,why am I wasting my time with you.and I just said that your being annoying,and she goes all coco on me.. I don't know what to do..

[merissam]

It's good that you talked to your mom about it; hopefully they can help you figure out what's going on and hopefully put your mind at ease.

Keep me updated; I'd really like to know how everything turns out! And good luck, Dear. :)

Thank you for all your help :) and yes I will keep you updated. :)

[HelpinHere]

Yes, it is good that you are going to get some professional help. Whether you DO have some kind of mental illness, depression paranoia anxiety, or anything else, a phychiatrist should still be able to help you better than we can here.

I, too, would be interested to know how it turns out. :)

... if another person like the same thing they like then,my "friend" hangs out with them and not me ... like one day she'll be bestfriends with someone and the next day and will be bestfriends with somebody else ... shell say ohh your SUCH a good friend,why am i wasting my time with you....

Yeah, sorry to say, but it sounds like she is using you, and when she can't get what she wants from you, she just jumps to the next person who she can get something else from.
I'm sorry to say this, but you're not her friend. She doesn't value your friendship, and therefore doesn't view you as a "friend" as much as someone she can just use to get what she wants, and by not telling her straight (annoying is just an excuse) you're letting her get away with it.

[anamay]

Dear marissa (if that's your name) ;)

Your friend sounds manipulative and cruel. In my lifetime I've had friends who haven't treated me with very much respect. You are clearly very sensitive, and worried about hurting other people, and you are right in talking to your friend about it, when she's upset you.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Being twelve is quite a hard time. I remember it. It's full of social anxieties. It sounds like you are very anxious, and wound up, and yourself esteem is affected a lot by what other people think of you, and how they treat you. This is very common at your age. I don't think you are unusually paranoid - (when I was your age I would run home crying at a misheard insult that probably wasn't even anything to do with me) but you would probably benefit from counselling to help you deal with your anxieties.

People are very difficult sometimes. A lot of the time they are insensitive and cruel. One thing you can do to help yourself feel less paranoid, depressed or insecure is to realise that it isn't your fault. Whether you think the people you know are happy or have good lives, or not, people who are REALLY happy do not need to make other people feel bad about themselves. Happiness comes from self-believe and liking yourself, despite what the negative influences are in your life. It takes a lot of work to like yourself, and to feel able to deal with difficult situations, but it is worth it.

Don't be to hard on yourself for having a hard time. Talk to a counseller, and if it's really bad talk to your school. Xxxxxxxxxxxx