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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #101

    Oct 19, 2009, 10:16 AM

    It's a bit of a rollercoaster the first couple of weeks. Just take it one day at the time.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #102

    Oct 19, 2009, 12:56 PM

    I'm soooo close to txting him and asking if he is finding this hard! Ah
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #103

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:02 PM

    Phone a friend instead-you ll just end up waiting for a reply that might not happen and you ll feel worse.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #104

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:05 PM

    I'm just going to watch TV or something,I think its because I had to pass his flat today on the way to the gym and saw that he was in! He lives really close to me!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #105

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:10 PM

    Watching telly s good-and maybe take a different route to your gym next time?
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #106

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:20 PM

    If I did txt would I just end up looking desperate?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #107

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:39 PM

    No contact Benson-for you so that you can heal. And keep as busy as you can.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #108

    Oct 19, 2009, 01:57 PM

    No contact! I think the urge has passed a little
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #109

    Oct 20, 2009, 01:07 AM

    I didn't text lastnight! His best mates girlfriend text me to say sorry to here what happened and she does not know what to say! Which made me assume he is telling people its over
    When we agreed nc for a month is he just saying that to keep me quiet?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #110

    Oct 20, 2009, 01:20 AM
    Good morning I hope you re ok-its confusing when other people text or get in touch with whatever information or their opinion in this kind of situation.
    It s left you with questions nobody can answer.
    Generally speaking taking time out or going on a break are just another way of saying breaking up.
    At the top of the relationship page here are the stickies with lots of good advice-have you read them?
    Stay strong.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #111

    Oct 20, 2009, 01:40 AM

    So no one knows if he is considering the months space or not only he knows type thing!
    Yeah I have read them and there really good. Maybe I'm assuming my situation is different when its not!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #112

    Oct 20, 2009, 01:50 AM
    That's the long and short of it,we never know what's going on in somebody else s mind or what they intend to do.
    So any advice given is based on general experience and statistics.
    Which is why I d say you treat this as a breakup and start healing from it.
    Breakups hurt like h**l but we survive them by staying no contact and getting on with our own lives.
    It takes time and patience.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #113

    Oct 20, 2009, 08:05 AM

    Oh god I caved and txt I feel bad! He said he was getting by by keeping busy that he does miss me but he needs to be alone!
    Feel like I have ruined everything now!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #114

    Oct 20, 2009, 08:14 AM
    You must respect that wish.
    If someone does nt want contact we can't force them.
    Respect yourself and keep no contact.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #115

    Oct 20, 2009, 08:26 AM

    I know I need to do you think I have ruined everything by txting today?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #116

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:10 AM

    You have ruined nothing but the thought that false hope, has changed his mind. Now do what you KNOW YOU need to be doing.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
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    #117

    Oct 20, 2009, 12:48 PM

    If I'm honest I knew he would not want to get back. It was more whether or not he was missing me.
    I seemed to think he was get over this easily. He has been dead cold with me and he explained that it's the only way he can deal with everything.
    Its kind of put my mind at ease a little is that weird?
    He is still wanting to do the one month thing which I think is OK but your right I need to look at it as a break up not a break.

    The final text I sent said that I miss him (a bit silly I know) but that I'm happy to do the month thing but I am going to try and not think about us and although I hope we can sort things out
    I know need to get on with things and not assume anything. Do you think that was OK?

    He has not text back but I think but maybe that's cause there is nothing else to say?
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #118

    Oct 21, 2009, 03:15 AM

    Sorry if I'm annoying everyone with the way I go on! But I feel a bit better today
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #119

    Oct 21, 2009, 04:05 AM
    We want you to start healing from your breakup and as best you can stop worrying about what's going on in his mind.
    By staying no contact this time you don't have to wonder about him getting back to you,and you don't have to live in false hope.
    Keep busy and do things that take your mind off things.
    benson1's Avatar
    benson1 Posts: 94, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #120

    Oct 21, 2009, 10:12 AM

    I finally got round to cleaning the muck that's accumulated in my flat,
    I read the sticky and apparently that's a good step! I am happy with the idea of no contact
    I think if its meant to be it will and if not there is no way for me to control it
    I just won't to concentrate on myself for now!

    I hope this feeling does not fade! I'm sure ill have my set backs!

    Jay jay - how are u keeping?
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