Check out some similar questions!

mikey49 · Aug 12, 2009, 12:41 PM

Shortly after I met this girl I am attracted to I was put in the dreadful "friend-zone" ((I kind of broke off contact for a while, and she recently has been inviting me to do different things.)) Most recently, was kareoke where I just witnessed guys trying to hit on her all night. I decided to stay friends because she has a son the same age as mine, and we live very close by. Great for the boys to play. However, now I am feeling more an more like I want to be intimate with this girl. I think she is just one who wants to keep her options open. We haven't known each other that long and I have my own guy/girl "friends" any advice, on how I can escape the "ZONE" or does completely cutting her off seem childish and insecure? I've handled it well up to this point, but I'm afraid sooner or later I might make a move, which will probably kill any chances I may have. Or should I just go for it, and see what happens? Thanks :)

talaniman · Aug 13, 2009, 12:13 PM

We haven't known each other that long

You can never have enough friends, so don't rush into anything more than having fun getting to know her better, because as you say, you don't know her very well yet.

What's the hurry?

mikey49 · Aug 13, 2009, 01:13 PM

There is no hurry. We have known each other for about 3 months... I assume as men, we are taught to avoid the "friend zone" if its somebody you want to be intimate with. As soon as I pulled away, she started calling more to make plans.. friends is fine, I just don't want any games.

Romefalls19 · Aug 13, 2009, 03:04 PM

Being friends allows you to build a solid foundation for any type of relationship. There doesn't need to be a hurry to rush into anything, enjoy getting to know each other and what makes the other tick. After awhile you may find out that what you thought would work in a relationship, doesn't.

CFZD · Aug 13, 2009, 06:51 PM

Seems to me she is making friends with you. If you don't want to be her friend, your choice, but I just don't get it why can't be just a simple friend to a girl? ( Assuming pure friendship)

artlady · Aug 13, 2009, 07:12 PM

Not everyone moves into a relationship at the same pace.

Some people are not comfortable with simply going for it because they have a physical attraction.

Clearly,she enjoys your company ,if she is asking you out.

I would back off and enjoy the friendship,knowing that may be as far as it will go.

I think there is a time and a place for everything and if you intend to make a move,you will know when the time is right,if at all.

I don't see that she is engaging in any games.Games implies she is sending you mixed signals or using you for some purpose.

Your post does not indicate that she is doing that .

I would back off and see how things progress.

In your zeal to want something more I would advise you not to read something more into her actions.

CFZD · Aug 13, 2009, 07:33 PM

Exactly, I don't think she is playing ANY games, it is b.c. OP wants more than she does!

For us, women, we tend to become your friends before moving into any relationship.

That's being called RATIONAL.

doesitgetbetter · Aug 14, 2009, 07:21 AM

Why don't you just tell her? It seems logical to not play games... Let her know that you like her more than just a friend - if she denies you then just explain that you would like to remain friends but not to hate you one night if you accidentally hit on her or fall for her even more... at this point if you can't handle it then don't hang out with her so much or end it. But I think communication is best. If I was her I would want to know - and I have been in those shoes before. I know it can be a bit embarrassing but so what, at least u won't look like a jerk trying to make an inappropriate move on her. I think she will respect you more for it and if she doesn't then maybe try finding someone else. While you two hang out hit on other people - maybe one day she will get jealous.

jmw0713 · Aug 14, 2009, 07:28 AM

Like art lady said, everyone moves at different speeds. Take time to get to know her. Have fun and if she isn't looking for what you are, find someone else.

mikey49 · Aug 19, 2009, 12:37 PM

Thanks for the good advice... basically, we both have boys the same age. Not sure if I mentioned this or not... twice we have made plans, and at the last minute, plans were switched to do something SHE wanted to do.. (with her group of friends.) Not to mention she is the biggest Lagger ever. While I am entertaining the boys she is visiting and carryng on with her friends. I know for a fact she wants her son more involved doing "boy stuff" So, I guess I kind of feel like I'm there to entertain and maybe fill a void? She is obviously aware I wanted more than friendship considering I initially asked her out. It's convenient for her when I take them to baseball, and most-recently a football game. She is unemployed, did I mention that? There are a lot of red-flags to get out, but if anything I'll keep the relationship as friends since my son and hers are already buds. Catch 22... Maybe I should just start inviting only her son?

mikey49 · Aug 19, 2009, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by doesitgetbetter

Why don't you just tell her? It seems logical to not play games...Let her know that you like her more than just a friend - if she denies you then just explain that you would like to remain friends but not to hate you one night if you accidentally hit on her or fall for her even more...at this point if you can't handle it then don't hang out with her so much or end it. But I think communication is best. If I was her I would want to know - and I have been in those shoes before. I know it can be a bit embarassing but so what, at least u won't look like a jerk trying to make an inappropriate move on her. I think she will respect you more for it and if she doesn't then maybe try finding someone else. While you two hang out hit on other people - maybe one day she will get jealous.

That was perfectly said! Thank you