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tangolap · Jun 23, 2009, 06:27 AM

I am going to be honest and hope I get honest answers even though I almost know they would hurt but reality check is required for me.

I have been seeing this girl for past 6 months out of that 3 months she was in my city and now she is back at her home town. We were physically close although it was only making out.. she cares for me but she is not expressive.. she says she likes me but don't love me, while I said I love her.. she does everything that shows that she loves me, but she doesn't want to come in open.. at the same time I see myself obsessed, as we speak 2 times a day.. and everyday at night for about 2 hours... I almost feel insecure when I have nothing to talk to her about and its but obvious that I may not have lots to talk to her about since she is not doing anything at the moment. I almost never know what she is up to.. so I end up asking too many questions, and we end up fighting.. I see myself very very very emotionally needy, and we fight on petty issues like I tell her I miss her, and she only says that whenever she feels like it, or she don't.. she says I won't say if I don't feel like.. so we are there right now.. I don't know what to do.. I don't want to screw this relationship up.. I want to make it work.. is it hopeless can someone tell me what I can do with there own experience? Please. Thank you.

jolienoire · Jun 23, 2009, 07:22 AM

I'll tell you what from the sound of your post you need security and self-confidence in yourself, and no one should have to validate those feelings for you. When someone has to validate those feelings you become dependent on your partner and this is a big no no, because you can become a nuisance and annoying, and needy. Some woman can't stand a man who is not secure within himself. Just by your statements I would highly suggest you put a relationship on the back burner, until you can build confidence and security in yourself.

Also to add why should she say something she doesn't mean and you shouldn't need to hear it back to confirm your love for her. If a relationship does evolve out of this it will be doomed because of the simple fact you need her to secure who you are. I say work on yourself find things to do other than obsessing over this woman, don't always be available to her, be available to your own self, because I definitely sense major insecurities.

ZoeMarie · Jun 23, 2009, 07:53 AM

Can I ask how old the 2 of you are?

talaniman · Jun 24, 2009, 12:06 PM

I don't know what to do.. I don't want to screw this relationship up.. I want to make it work.. is it hopeless can someone tell me what I can do with there own experience?

Your hard headed, and have such low self esteem, and your ignoring what she told you, and are running head first into a brick wall.

Back away from her, as you have NO relationship, and are to deeply involved in getting one, instead of getting a life of your own.

Your to needy for a healthy friendship, let alone a relationship, so leaving her alone, to work on yourself, is what you need, and stop thinking she is in love with you, when she has told you she is not.

Get some dignity, and self respect, by working on your own confidence, as you have many issues with YOURSELF that need some work.

liz28 · Jun 24, 2009, 12:22 PM

Relationships are suppose to be fun and this relationship is lacking that. You replaced the fun with petty fights because of your issues from within.

It is good you realize the flaws you have because some people don't. Now you have to work on them before your capable to be in a healthy relationship.

This relationship isn't going last--sorry to say that but it is the truth. You have too many insecurites and making it too much of your life. You need a life around it and need some personal growth.

Jake448 · Jun 25, 2009, 08:24 AM

How far away from each other do you guys live right now? How often do you see each other? Is this the first girl you've dated or no?

The reason I ask these questions before giving you an answer is because its important to understand why you have become so dependent on her. As you can interpret from the posters above, you are much more dependent on her than she is on you, if she is at all. She may just be needing your attention once in a while and in that situation, girls may say that they miss you.

carebear5 · Jul 30, 2009, 01:20 PM

Find the girls who just want to have fun enjoy there company and you will gain the confidence needed to build yourself esteme, nobody should[ need] anybody, relationships are a lot of work, and they take pryor experiences, to find the tools you will need to make them work . You can love all you want but will never experience the true meaning until you are loved!! Ask yourself why you are obsessed bye her what is it ,that makes you feel that way, you will find its not her at all but its your fear of not having her in your life a comfortable pair of shoes.. its time to move on, learn to deal with your insecuritys have relationships that have no expectations and eventually one will come along that will/