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ayejay0601 · Jun 3, 2009, 07:39 PM

Everything that is said on this site is meant to help people move on and not hold to hope that their loved one will come back. And this is definitely the correct thing to do.

But for some of us where the pain in new, we just aren't ready yet. Maybe after a days or few weeks, we will be ready to let go. But for now, only stories of hope make us feel a little better. So this story is to give hope to those who are hurting so much they can barely move:

My friend A who is 30 years old started dating Z who is 20 years old about 18 months ago. They dated for about 14 months and things were great. She is mature for her age and so sweet. She would bake cookies and took care of Adam and just would have been the perfect wife. There was one major sticking point. She had herpes. Now Herpes isn't that bad--its more of a social Stigma, but A just could not fall in love with Z for this reason. He tried, he tried so hard. He really loved her but was not swept off his feet--was not IN love with her. But then he broke up with her about 3 months ago. She went NC over the last three months. A dated a few other girls. Then when I spoke to A few days ago, he said that he realized how much he missed her. Most importantly, he realized that this girl genuinely loved him and that made all the difference. He is going to ask her to come back and feels that this is the girl he is going o marry.

I hope it helps some of you and gives some of you hope. But don't forget, this is an outlier story. Most times you will not get your significant other back.

I wish · Jun 3, 2009, 07:41 PM

Hopefully she still wants him back.

This could be a good example of no contact working out. No contact for 3 months and he feels more objective and realizes what's important to him.

Or... this is just opening up old wounds.

Let us know how it goes.

ayejay0601 · Jun 3, 2009, 07:44 PM

I wish: I will definitely keep you all posted.

friend4u178 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:07 PM

Ayejay
We all love happy endings but unfortunately don't see too many here , shame really.

Hope your coping okay :)

roxypox · Jun 4, 2009, 03:04 AM

I AGREE WITH f4u... we do love happyendings... lol but we don't see to many. So keep us posted. I hope it works out for your friend...

anewday · Jun 4, 2009, 03:08 AM

My best friend had met his partner through mutual friends at university. They went out for a while, but it became a bit stagnant, and she broke up with him. They went NC for a short while, and saw other people. They both then realised that they couldn't be without each other, but got in contact again as friends. Their old emotions were rekindled, they got engaged three months after they got back together, moved in together about a year after that, then finally got married two years after moving in together.
Once they had got back together, they talked about the problems that they had, and fixed the ones that could be fixed. Otherwise, they just accepted each other for who they were.

A rare light in the dark.

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 07:54 AM

While I know its rare, I bet people get together more frequently than this forum implies. I think that for a lot of people, if they got back together with their ex's, they would stop posting on here and focus on the relationship (I would probably be guilty of this), so we often don't hear happy endings.

Friend: Thanks for asking. I am coping OK, but not great. Some days are harder than others. Today is hard. I just need to meet other girls and I think I will be OK. Other good girls. And I have to remind myself that she is far from perfect.

But the good news is that thanks to dating this girl, I now have a more mature outlook on life and know exactly what I am looking for in a girl.

Romefalls19 · Jun 4, 2009, 08:49 AM

While I didn't get back with my ex, I got with another girl, who became my girlfriend who became my fiancé, and I still post here. It's just a little something I can do to give back to a site who gave me so much strength and support when I needed it the most.

Yes, my ex did come back, well tried. But I had moved on and realized I deserved a lot better

kctiger · Jun 4, 2009, 09:07 AM

Call me an idiot, but I do not see how this is a story of hope. Seems to me it is a story of not realizing what you had until you lost it, done deal, over and out... where is the hope in this story? For those with an STD, you can and will be loved for who you are?

Like I said, call me an idiot... :cool:

Romefalls19 · Jun 4, 2009, 09:09 AM

I agree KC, most people, when their ex comes back is healed and no longer wants to be bothered by them.

I am happy about how my relationship ended, I harbor no ill feelings. It led me to my fiancé, and that's the only story I want to tell

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 10:14 AM

KC: Its meant to give some hope to people who (like the girl in story) poured all their heart and love into a relationship. It provided me with hope that my girl will realize how much I loved her and how great our relationship really was after she tries out other people and come back to me. I am sorry if that sounds pathetic--it is--but I am very broken hearted and I need a little hope for now--until I can move on.

ZoeMarie · Jun 4, 2009, 10:23 AM

I unfortunately don't have any "hope" stories either. The couple people that I know that went through a breakup that thought their ex would come back were sorely mistaken. I even thought that they might but they didn't. I'm sorry.

kctiger · Jun 4, 2009, 10:28 AM

The only "hope" I have is that I never see my ex again... for me, it is an indifference thing. I know I am a good guy, and the LAST thing I need is for her to confirm that... I know you are hurting, but trust me, getting your ex back doesn't answer all the insecurities you have. Good luck, and no, you aren't pathetic, just human, and hurt.

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 10:29 AM

I agree with everyone and I think what this site is trying do (ie. Help people to move on) is wonderful. Really just great. We need it.

However, the fact remains that lots of couples do get back together. Maybe for bad reasons, maybe for good. Sometimes two people just need a little time apart to realize how important they are to each other.

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 10:31 AM

KC: Yes its true. I will tell you my major insecurity: I am 32-yrs old and I saw this girl as my last chance for real love. I feel that all the good girls are being taken off the market and that I will have to settle for someone that I am not really in love with. Does this sound crazy?

kctiger · Jun 4, 2009, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

KC: Yes its true. I will tell you my major insecurity: I am 32-yrs old and I saw this girl as my last chance for real love. I feel that all the good girls are being taken off the market and that I will have to settle for someone that I am not really in love with. Does this sound crazy?

It is crazy, even stupid, but lets face it, at a time like this, you can't think rationally. That is why we are here, to hold you up, to guide you, and to be here for you. I am not a relationship expert, and I don't pretend to be. All I know is that I have hit rock bottom before, and I know that, in the end, I came out a better person. So what you are 32? You are still VERY young and VERY capable of anything you set your mind to. It is easy to want things to be in a certain comfort zone... the hard part is to accept that things will change, but that change in life doesn't have to change the good person you are.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

KC: Yes its true. I will tell you my major insecurity: I am 32-yrs old and I saw this girl as my last chance for real love. I feel that all the good girls are being taken off the market and that I will have to settle for someone that I am not really in love with. Does this sound crazy?

Yes, it does sound crazy, but if you want some real hope, listen to the ones who have healed, and found their true happiness. When you find yours, you'll see how crazy what you have written really is.

Romefalls19 · Jun 4, 2009, 12:25 PM

Read my first posts on here, or KCtiger, or ISneezefunny, we all sounded like bumbling babies(correct if I am wrong guys) and we have all since healed

friend4u178 · Jun 4, 2009, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

However, the fact remains that lots of couples do get back together.

This is true to a point , I actually know people in my social circles who have got back together , but none have lasted.

slapshot_oi · Jun 5, 2009, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

Now Herpes isn't that bad--its more of a social Stigma...

HSV II, which I assume what you're talking about, is a big deal. HSV I, which causes the cold sores around the mouth isn't anything to worry about. It's spread from sharing food, drink, kissing; so if any of you have ever played a round of beer pong at a house party, you probably have anti-bodies for HSV I.

But HSV II causes open sores on your gentiles which obviously isn't pleasing and people with it are more likely to transmit other STDs because of the open sores.

But as far as reuniting with an ex, depending on your personality it can happen, but only when don't expect it, call it Karma or whatever you wish but that's just the way life works. I've known three separate people who ended up marrying their exes after breaking-up anywhere from three months to over a year.