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    jennaaa's Avatar
    jennaaa Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #21

    Apr 1, 2009, 09:05 PM

    Thank you all , I made the mistake of texting him today and he just said nothing is going to change his mind its over for good and I just started crying again. We just have a lot of the same friends and everything was so perfect and I miss it so much. I am really hurt clearly I keep checking this site every night and venting my brains out. Its just where I live I'm not attracted to ANYONE he was like the only guy I thought was appealing , he was in a band , talented just all this stuff about him was amazing and now I just feel screwed , he doesn't even care :/ my friend told me to just not text him ever again starting tomorrow but I always have the urges to text him and stuff , it just sucks he's doing fine without me and I'm sitting here crying and wishing I had him back:(
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #22

    Apr 2, 2009, 06:15 AM
    It's going to be painful for the next while and that's normal. Try to make the best of it. You don't need to worry about him anymore. Worry about yourself! Take care of yourself.

    Definitely stick with the no contact rule. You can also check out this thread:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...le-335663.html

    The joys of being single. I'm sure you will get a laugh out of it.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #23

    Apr 2, 2009, 06:21 AM

    Check out the stickies at the top of the page, start with those and you will see the benefits of NC
    jennaaa's Avatar
    jennaaa Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #24

    Apr 2, 2009, 11:53 PM

    Today I woke up didn't bother texting him at allthen I went to go hangout with my friend and he called her asking her if I really hooked up with his friend and all this stuff but I never did? And he blew up my phone with calls and id idnt answer to anything and I turned off my phone then he kept texting me saying talk to me bla bla bla all this stuff.. and now he's begging that I sleepover his house next weekend for a few days.. I said why and he said he wants to see how things go and I just don't know if it's a good idea I don't want him to just tell me I'm more of a friend again like I don't get it one day he doesn't care doesn't bother texting me because I text him then I don't bother with him and he goes physcoidkkk what I should do.. I really want him back but I don't know
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #25

    Apr 3, 2009, 05:19 AM

    Avoid sleeping over, I can tell you EXACTLY what will happen.

    You will go over, sleep with him then come Monday, you will be back here wondering why he is back to ignoring you.


    Avoid the drama and go out with friends.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #26

    Apr 3, 2009, 05:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jennaaa View Post
    thank you all , i made the mistake of texting him today and he just said nothing is gonna change his mind its over for good and i just started crying again. We just have alot of the same friends and everything was so perfect and i miss it so much. I am really hurt clearly i keep checking this site everynight and venting my brains out. Its just where i live im not attracted to ANYONE he was like the only guy i thought was appealing , he was in a band , talented just all this stuff about him was amazing and now i just feel screwed , he doesnt even care :/ my friend told me to just not text him ever again starting tomorow but i always have the urges to text him and stuff , it just sucks hes doing fine without me and im sitting here crying and wishing i had him back:(
    So you are not attracted to anyone.You do not need a guy to *complete* you.

    That kind of thinking will always leave you feeling lost.No one can make you happy or whole except yourself.You must be happy by yourself first.

    That is a very important lesson of life and love and if you can fully understand and accept that now ,all of the relationships you have in the future will be better for it.

    You must learn that in order to be a good partner in a relationship,you must first be able to be a complete person by yourself.If you can truly live with that concept,you will be so much happier in life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #27

    Apr 3, 2009, 05:48 AM

    Sleeping over is a lousy idea, to see "where it leads". Sorry Jenaaa, don't let your desire to have him back, enable him to treat you badly. If he was angry over something he thought you did, he handled it badly. Has he apologized for that bad behavior that hurt you deeply?

    What you must decide is, do you deserve a better partner that treats you well, all the time, not just when he is in a good mood. Re-read what you have written, and think about it.

    Sure he thinks if he says sorry, and is nice, things will go back to being good, and you giving him sex will make him think all is well, until the next time he mistreats you, or gets mad, and you are hurt again, and going through the same situations you are in now.

    I think talking and standing up for yourself, and not just giving into his desire for sex, just cause you want him back, is the way to go. If you don't resolve the problem that caused all this in the first place, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN, with the same results, you being hurt, because he was mad.

    Honestly, a more mature fellow who is more honest, and forthcoming, and knows HOW to communicate with you, is a better situation to be in, but they are your feelings to deal with, and your choice to make.

    Use your mind, not your body to let him know that what he did is not going to happen, and make him wait until your ready to tell him that, not this weekend at a sleep over.

    Having sex with him, is not your solution.

    Good luck with that!
    jennaaa's Avatar
    jennaaa Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #28

    Apr 4, 2009, 02:14 AM

    Yeah ahhh I'm so confused I saw him today at a show didn't say anything to him he kept coming up to me saying he needed to talk to me and I was just like please don't talk to me.. and he got really mad and just kept approaching me then he texted me saying he was sorry he dumped me and he realised he is in love with me? Like I don't want to play games he told me like he just needed a break from me? But wow he just really hurt me! Idk if I'm going to stay there for a few days or not but it doesn't seem smart I'm not going to be his friend?

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