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suziedog · Aug 25, 2008, 08:49 AM

Howdy you. I really need some help here. I have made mistakes in the past and I know that all of us have. My problem is I have started thinking about them more and more and it has got to the point of really depressing me so much that I am having trouble at work and with my family. How do I just let it go and believe that everything will be OK?

amermonstarsgir · Aug 25, 2008, 05:49 PM

Im sorry to here that you ave been depressed lately. I have been too Me and my boyfriend have been dealing with his non sleeping and other problems and made a bad decision and he went to a different shift hoping to get some sleep and is in an aweful job and can't come back to his normal shift. Now we see each other only on weekend days and talk maybe once a day if that. Like I told him today, we all make bad choices in life but we just have to recognize that we didn't make the right choice and learn to deal with or make what we did right. I think the hard part is admiting that we selected the wrong choice. I hope this helped a little. I have found that talking about your problems helps a lot even though some think it doesn't.

Bonita-- · Aug 26, 2008, 07:26 PM

I had this same problem. What I did was whenever I thought about the mistakes I made, I just thought about something else as fast as I could. I told myself that thinking about it isn't helping, and that the past is the past for a reason. I told myself that I was a better person now and that I need to move on with my life and change for the better. That's what helped me get through it, I hope it can help you too.

suziedog · Aug 27, 2008, 05:24 AM

Thank you so much for your time in answering my question. I also read that maybe the reason I can't let go is the feelings of guilt. That I must forgive myself, quit feeling so guilty about the mistakes and look forward. I don't know how to forgive myself. Every day I see the results of my mistakes and it breaks my heart. How does a person forgive themselves?

maje3 · Aug 27, 2008, 05:35 AM

Everyone makes mistakes. There is nothing you can do to change what has already been done, so the best thing to do is learn from the past and don't repeat it. If you continue to dwell in it you can't move forward to make a better future. Time is precious. Don't waste it wishing you did things differently. What's done is done. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. And believe in yourself to trust you can make better decisions.

George_1950 · Aug 27, 2008, 05:52 AM

My favorite is Susan Jeffers; check this: Susan Jeffers :: Affirmation of the day

Fr_Chuck · Aug 27, 2008, 05:54 AM

If you just can't, get professional help, there is nothing wrong with getting help when we can not do it ourself.

The other is just admitting to ourself and knowing we can't change the past and that if we don't let go, we will screw up the future also.
At least you see the problem, that is 1/2 the battle right there

HistorianChick · Aug 27, 2008, 06:46 AM

Realizing that the past is the past, that you can't change it, that it will always be your past, and that you no longer have a say in it, is a key step on the road to recovery. We have all made mistakes in the past - we've said things we shouldn't have said that ruined relationships, we've made wrong decisions that have tragic outcomes and consequences, we've done things that we regret - but the thing that you need to realize is that you can't let your past effect your present.

Its quippy and coloquial, but honestly, it is your Past. Your past can ONLY be your present if you let it consume your thoughts. If thoughts of the past are constantly on your mind, then you are making your past your present - and by effect, your future.

When you start thinking about what you've done/been/said, tell yourself that you are not that person any longer. Make the decision to change. Living an unfulfilled life is letting your past dictate your mental state - thus leaving you in a constant roller coaster of emotions.

Get off the roller coaster of blaming yourself and living in the past. Choose to focus on your present... and your beautiful, shiny future. It's a momentary thing. When you find yourself thinking back on the past, make that choice to say, NO. I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on what I am today - a person with a future.

Hope this helps. It's a mental choice. The battlefield is your mind - win that battle, one moment at a time.