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tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 11:50 AM

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 months, we have done so much together, she has a few issues in her life like, being on bail and hating her job all of these I no about.
But now she says she's not sure if she is ready for a relationship, and needs a week to think about it, she says she is scared of getting hurt, she has been hurt in the past, but I assured her I won't and she believes me.
She says I am the nicest bloke she has ever met and was always saying nice things to me
So I said OK, but now she texts me every day to see if I'm OK and says good night etc
She has also phoned and left a voice mail
I have pleaded my heart out with her , but don't want to constantly keep calling or texting her because then I will look all possive and like a stalker .
Any idea what she might mean because I just do not get woman when there like this

ylaira · Jun 20, 2008, 12:54 PM

How long have beens since her last break up? She may not be over yet with that guy (or maybe she's still in contact with that ex) and still gauging her capacity to enter in a relationship with you. But yes give it some time, its up to u until when u'll wait. She will open up eventually when she's ready. Let her initiate contacts, If she stopped contacting you, give up.

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 01:49 PM

Thanks for your reply
She was her ex for 9 years, been split up for 2 years , she is still in contact with him , but that's understanbly , but he is with someone else and has a kid, I still see my ex from time to time. Just don't get if she says she wants space, cause I'm not no expert, but that normally means its over, but the fact she still texts me that's what is what's confusing me .

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 01:58 PM

Sorry she also says she is complety over him ,

Distantlove · Jun 20, 2008, 02:15 PM

All you can do is wait and give it time. Don't try to force or beg her because this could lead to false decisions. If she calls or texts, reply politely but don't start pleading as you say, because she may enjoy this (it sounds mean but some people do actually like the idea of their ex's begging them), so just leave the ball in her court and she'll make her decision with time :) in the meantime, just try not to think about it much and get on with other things.

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 02:23 PM

OK say you saying I should reply to her messages and not ignore her, and play at her game she says give me a week is that what you would do then that's it. Thanks for you answer I appricate it cheers

JBeaucaire · Jun 20, 2008, 02:33 PM

Sounds like a week of peace and quiet. What's she on bail for?

ylaira · Jun 20, 2008, 02:37 PM

I understand that. She doesn't want to lose you. But for sure, u'r not her priority....for now or forever. Or maybe you're too good to her and afraid to hurt you....big time. You know. I'm not sure. Just speaking from what If Im her. Maybe ask her what she wants from you because u can't wait for her forever until she makes up her mind.Its up to you how long will you tolerate waiting. U have good intentions and u deserve equal feelings. Dont be too much available but stay sweet and nice.

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 02:38 PM

Lol well she been accused of stealing at her work but I no this is not true, apperently £170,00 in 6 months in a small restaurant as if and she just sold her dog she had for 3 years then it bit the new owner so she had it put down ,

ylaira · Jun 20, 2008, 02:48 PM

Normally guys are the one who are more in need of space oftenly. If women asks for it, it will be for a longer run. Since she contacts you in regular basis anyway, just make ur every available moment as a memorable. Again dont be too much available. Be busy urself.

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 02:51 PM

OK thanks , so should I be as I was or come across a little funny

ylaira · Jun 20, 2008, 02:59 PM

I don't have any idea how u please ur girl but most likely u already know what moves that work best so when u part after date, she'll miss you and think of another round. U remind me of myself and my Bf. Its just, in this situation, u are me and ur Gf is my bf. Ha ha..again stay and sweet but don't be too much available!

tim03 · Jun 20, 2008, 03:08 PM

OK thanks like u say I will c what happens over the next few days, it wll be her loss at the end of the day

talaniman · Jun 21, 2008, 05:38 PM

Because she is confused should you be? Give her the space she asks for, and be busy and unavailable, because its time to focus on your own life, and not her confusion.