[soccer78]

Until recently I hadn’t dated in a very long time for a variety of reasons, mainly a hurtful experience (although looking back it wasn’t that bad) that took me a while to get over. However, I did really let it affect my self-confindence with women. I used to kid myself that I didn’t have time with other commitments but like most things you learn that feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t work and I was determined to get out there again and date which I did do about a year and a half ago. I am now 29, and although I have a good career, prospects, reasonably good looking and would be considered to be a good catch, not having dated in so long, I feel a little like I have missed out on a period of “personal development” in the relationship game that leaves me quite unsure of myself at times, but I do realise that is my own fault.

The question I have therefore relates to a relationship that I have found myself in. I am currently dating this woman for just over 2 months and so far thing have been going really well, but it hasn’t been in anyway serious. I would like however, to progress with the relationship, not immediately but too be honest I don’t know how it’s been so long in getting past just the dating stage. I am no longer afraid to express my emotions, its just I can’t seem too, and don’t know how because they have been suppressed so long. I would really like however, for myself to get past this for the present and the future and stop it curtailing me.

The problem is that I am aware the woman I am with has had a similar experience to me and is reluctant to let her guard down and say almost anything of how she feels, but yet I know she is interested and cares by certain very direct signals she gives. I am happy with her. I know that I have to be patient with her as well as myself in that manner, and give her time, which I want to do because in many ways we are well suited. I want to make her feel secure with me enough to begin open up, and at the same time express my own feelings and give the relationship a chance to develop, but find it difficult because of the insecurities I have in expressing myself beyond “good conversation”.

I would really appreciate any advice or experiences you would like to share.

[sydneywagga1]

Sounds like everyone is afraid. Try writing down your feelings. Eventually, you will hone it down to something sensible. Besides, if she doesn't feel the same, better to know sooner than later.

:) Sydneywagga1

[ceriphante]

sounds like everyone is afraid. Try writing down your feelings. Eventually, you will hone it down to something sensible. Besides, if she doesn't feel the same, better to know sooner than later.

:) Sydneywagga1

That is a great tip, if possible both of you write down your feelings and then maybe as a surprise swap them sometime hey?
It's a start!

Basically you need to find a way to both engage in open honest communication
If you can't well.. it ain't going to improve...

[InTheArmsOfGod]

I'm curious to read more answers on this. I sometimes have the same situation where I get stuck in "dating" mode for a long time and never know how or when to progress to "serious" mode.