Getting Past The Initial Stages
Until recently I hadn’t dated in a very long time for a variety of reasons, mainly a hurtful experience (although looking back it wasn’t that bad) that took me a while to get over. However, I did really let it affect my self-confindence with women. I used to kid myself that I didn’t have time with other commitments but like most things you learn that feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t work and I was determined to get out there again and date which I did do about a year and a half ago. I am now 29, and although I have a good career, prospects, reasonably good looking and would be considered to be a good catch, not having dated in so long, I feel a little like I have missed out on a period of “personal development” in the relationship game that leaves me quite unsure of myself at times, but I do realise that is my own fault.
The question I have therefore relates to a relationship that I have found myself in. I am currently dating this woman for just over 2 months and so far thing have been going really well, but it hasn’t been in anyway serious. I would like however, to progress with the relationship, not immediately but too be honest I don’t know how it’s been so long in getting past just the dating stage. I am no longer afraid to express my emotions, its just I can’t seem too, and don’t know how because they have been suppressed so long. I would really like however, for myself to get past this for the present and the future and stop it curtailing me.
The problem is that I am aware the woman I am with has had a similar experience to me and is reluctant to let her guard down and say almost anything of how she feels, but yet I know she is interested and cares by certain very direct signals she gives. I am happy with her. I know that I have to be patient with her as well as myself in that manner, and give her time, which I want to do because in many ways we are well suited. I want to make her feel secure with me enough to begin open up, and at the same time express my own feelings and give the relationship a chance to develop, but find it difficult because of the insecurities I have in expressing myself beyond “good conversation”.
I would really appreciate any advice or experiences you would like to share.
