[lisa_gg]

Im not sure where to start...

My boyfriend was promoted to higher position within his company and ever since he's been super tired. He works 8 hours a day, yet looks as if he's worked 20 and ran a marathon. I work and go to school and yet I still have plenty of energy. He goes to bed early and we rarely do anything anymore ( he comes home and goes to bed )..
Ive confronted him about it, and I seem to think that it maybe a health issue. Hes gone for a couple of tests and both doctors seem to agree that something's up... He had a blood test done a couple of weeks ago without a follow through... and my boyfriend doesn't seem bothered.
Anyhow.. we went on vacation and everything was great... we spent time together... stayed up late and well re-kindled the romance... yet know that we are back.. its gone back to the routine... 2 times this week he's passed out at 9-10...
My main question is... what do I do? I want to support him with his career.. yet Im being severely neglected... Ive mentioned it.. but nothing has come from it..
What do I do...
Sincerely worried

[talaniman]

That's the way it goes when you climb that ladder and then you have to prove yourself and work your butt off to go higher. How about talking to him more in a more loving way and forget the confrontation as nothing will make him ignore you faster than nagging and demanding. Be patient understanding and try to set aside sometime when he is off on the weekend I presume. Learn his schedule and figure when is the best time for hugs. Otherwise help the poor guy get his rest.

[grammadidi]

Have you tried waking up with him about 20 or 30 minutes early from time to time? It can be your talking time, cuddle time, or..? :D

I am confused by your post though. You say both doctors think that something's up but he hasn't followed up on his blood tests? He could have a B-12 deficiency that could easily be taken care of. I would have a gentle talk with him on how important he is to you and he really needs to follow up on the blood tests if for no other reason than to ease your mind. Do it with love and concern and he will probably follow up.

Sometimes we worry for nothing, and other times it's more serious. My (deceased) husband ignored his symptoms and ended up in hospital with pernicious anemia. He had none of the typical reasons for it, had further testing eventually and it ended up being gastric cancer. I'm not saying that this is what is happening here, but maybe if you tell my little story it will make him think a bit. It's probably just the stress of the new position, but better to be safe than sorry. Stress isn't good for him either. He needs to find an outlet for it besides sleeping.

Hugs, Didi

[lisa_gg]

Thanks guys for your input.. and I wouldn't be coming to you if I haven't all ready tried everything...
I am extremely proud of him, that he's moved up twice this year and I want to help him out.. but what happens to me in all of this...
Our schedules are different, as I got to school during the day and work nights.. He works days and has sundays and mondays off. We only get to see each other sundays.. and if it was up to him, we would do nothing on weekends..
I try to make our time together on weeknights constructive... but like I said he always falls asleep... I wake up at the same time as him... do the run around and make dinner.. all for him to fall asleep an hour or two later.. Once or twice a week he will stop by his friends house.. which doesn't bother me.. because he should see other things than just work or me.. but when he goes there he seems to stay up? He comes in at like 1-2 am.. and then guess what.. the next day Im the one who pays.. because he falls asleep earlier..
Like I said... ive approached him about it... in a non-condescending way... and he's seen doctors.. but the doctors haven't given us any results...
Anyway... hope this helps a bit

[TheSavage]

Seems like he and thee need to decide what's more important -- money or happiness -- Savage

[alkalineangel]

I agree with Savage.

[lisa_gg]

Its really not a question of money or hapiness... We are both in our late 20's and I think its incredibly important to work hard now... I would never ask him to cut down hours.. because for the momment I wouldn't either.. I go to school all day and well to pay the bills I have to work. I have an extremely packed schedule, and for the next year or so it will be like that...
My point is.. is that I work the same hours as him.. if not more ( with school combined ) and I seem fine.. energy wise... all I am trying to do.. is undersand the source of his fatique.. what can be done.. and what I can do.. to not feel so alone...

[grammadidi]

Get a dog!

Love, Didi

[grammadidi]

.. I go to school all day and well to pay the bills I have to work. I have an extremly packed schedule, and for the next year or so it will be like that...
My point is.. is that I work the same hours as him.. if not more ( with school combined ) and I seem fine.. energy wise... all I am trying to do.. is undersand the source of his fatique..

Well, sweetie, didn't your mom ever teach you than women "perform" a lot more than men do? You think it's bad now?? When we have kids our days go from the time we get up in the morning until we hit that pillow at night. Many times we are also the ones who get up to the bad dreams, puking, colic, etc. Shoot, we even write the grocery lists in our sleep! We are overachievers and unless you change it early on, it will never change! ;)

Seriously, though, I understand all that you are saying. Yes, his friends are important, too - but NOT at the expense of your happiness or your relationship. One of those nights he goes out with friends should be spent with you. Maybe he just feels so darned comfortable and loved he sleeps?? I don't know, but perhaps what you should do is talk to him and say you want to go out on a date once a week - just you and him. Go bowling, dancing, indoor rock climbing, whatever... just go out and have some fun. A light, inexpensive dinner after a bit of fun so you can have some time to talk should finish it all up. Men need fun in their relationships. Sometimes it all becomes about work, finances, day to day problems. You need to do this for your relationship or once you both accomplish what you want to, there won't be a marriage to enjoy. Tell him that at least once night a week for the both of you to have fun and communitcate love MUST be fit into the schedule.

I really think he'll love you for it.

Love, Didi

[talaniman]

Make Sunday your day, and get some friends, good friends and do a few things for yourself. There is nothing wrong with making your own happiness. It's quite healthy.

[alkalineangel]

Beer always loosens them up... :D

[TheSavage]

beer always loosens them up...:D

Lmao -- not me -- it just puts me to sleep. -- Savage

[talaniman]

beer always loosens them up...:D

Or keeps you burping, and running to the can. :D

[NowWhat]

It sounds like he has a lot of stress. Just try and support him until he can get adjusted to his new job.
And, get him to go back to the dr. If something is going on - you need to know.
Good luck.