[Warren21]

I am currently 19 years old; although I will turn 20 on the 16th of the month. I graduated from high school last May. Since then I have been in the workforce; and am currently a building engineers apprentice/helper.

My relationship concern goes back to the fall of 2009, when I was a freshman in high school. At that time, I had the pleasure of meeting a truly wonderful young woman with whom I shared two classes with. She was everything I could have wanted. She is without a doubt the most attractive young lady I have met in my nearly 20 years of life. Her intrinsic physical beauty is difficult to properly do justice with words. Additionally, she is most attractive by virtue of her personality as well as her physical appearance. She is by far the most polite and well manned adolescent female I have ever encountered; after 12 years in primary and secondary education. Her manners, are definitely something that most other girls appear to be lacking. She is most gentile when conversing; responding to questions with "pardon?", rather than "yah!" or "what?!". She is mature beyond her years, despite the fact that she is still 19 years old, and a student. Finally, she is a most dedicated student; having excelled in all areas of academics while in high school. Upon graduation she earned herself a scholarship to a respected local university. Her dedication to excellence; has inspired me to pursue my goals. Through her inspiration, I have been blessed to achieve an apprenticeship in my chosen field. Currently, that is my focus, as I am working for a company that is training me in that area.

The issue is this: The girl knows exactly how I feel about her. I never had the courage to tell her myself; however many of my friends took the liberty of trying to assist me by speaking to her themselves.
Unfortunately, she responded quite negatively, to my interest. Speaking in a curt monotone voice while I conversed with her during class (NOTE: This was prior to her being made aware of my interest.)
When told of feelings this girl would either say little and walk away; making it clear that she was disinterested.
Naturally, I was quite devastated (and still am). I have been in love with her since I was 15 years old, and it has been quite a blow to learn that she considers me to very unattractive, and that my interests is an annoyance to her.

Speaking honestly; I am not a very attractive teenager physically. I am half Hispanic/white; and subsequently look Asian to many. Her rejection of me has only made me feel worse about myself physically. I am at a loss as to what I should do! That being said; I think of her daily. I Know she is doing well at the university; nonetheless I long for her presence. I am not sure what I should do about this. I want to be in a relationship with her more than just about anything. She is the only woman I would ever consider being in a relationship with. IF she does not eventually accept me I would rather remain single for life.

Do you have any solutions regarding how I can cope with this situation? Also; How might I change her opinion of me in a positive way? I Know that she finds me physical appearance unattractive, so that might be a start.
Any advice is much appreciated!
Best
MM

[talaniman]

That's no way to handle a long ago rejection from high school. The mature man accepts this a fantasy dream that's never going to happen and gets on with life. Not very mature to consign your life to bachelorhood forever over this. Look around and open your mind to other options and opportunities for fun, romance, and dating and push this notion of one female from the past aside. That's overly dramatic, and self defeating.

You are a great writer, and HOPELESS romantic. But let's keep it real my young friend. Look forward not back. In time you will get a life that you enjoy without her, with people and activities and a job that makes you happy.

[Oliver2011]

"Speaking honestly; I am not a very attractive teenager physically." You can start by loving yourself more. How can you expect someone else to love you when you don't appear to. People want to be around positive people and that starts with being positive about yourself. You talk about her inner beauty. You need to find and recognize yours. Rejection is a part of relationships. We have all been rejected and we have all lived through it.