[samolevski]

Hello to all and please excuse my english errors, I'm from Bulgaria, Eastern Europe which is not an english-speaking country :)

I'm in a pretty difficult situation right now, so I decided to write here, with the hope that someone could give me a useful advice. Here's my story in short.
Exactly one year ago my best friend introduced me to a girl which he liked very much. She was good looking, but of course I didn't even dare to look at her as more than a friend, because my best friend liked her. So the three of us were hanging out together for a while. Soon it became clear that she didn't like him, and they stopped seeing each other. But she and I, we continued to hang out together. We are in the same university, so every day we would meet there, very often we would go somewhere to have a drink, or go to a club, but entirely as friends. Soon I found out that she had a fall on me, but at the time I didn't like her, so we continued to be friends, and to hang out every day. And naturally soon we became best friends.
4 months ago she went to work in the USA. We communicated every single day, we were constantly telling eachother: "I miss you", "I love you", "I need you here" (just as friends of course). But a month ago I realized, that something I had suspected for a while was true - I'd fallen in love with her. And so my messages started to sound a little different now. They didn't sound entirely friend-like anymore, because I was now telling the phrase "I love you" with a new meaning. And she felt that. She doesn't know for sure, but she feels there is a difference now. And from the moment she felt that difference she stopped writing me affectionate letters, she stopped saying I love you, etc.
She's coming back tomorrow, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I could be able to "revive" the feelings she had for me in the beginning, I don't know how would she react if I tell her how I feel, and I don't know what is the best way to tell her.
Should I be direct?
Should I wait?
Sorry for the long and confusing text, I myself am confused, and that's why my thoughts aren't well-aranged.
If anyone could give me some advice, ANY advice, I would be extremely grateful.

[Alty]

First, I have to say that your English is very good, so no need to apologize. :)

It sounds like she's gotten comfortable with just being friends, and she may be worried that taking this relationship to another level will jeopardize that friendship, but that's just a guess, I have no idea what's going on in her mind.

You two are friends, best friends, so you should be able to talk to her about this. I wouldn't throw it at her as soon as she arrives, but give yourself a little time to spend with her, since it's been a while since you've seen her, and than, when you two have a quiet moment alone, let her know how you feel. Tell her exactly what you told us, and let her know that if she doesn't want to take the relationship to another level that you would like to remain friends, that you care about her, that you just felt she had a right to know that your feelings for her have changed.

Don't be afraid to tell her. If your friendship is strong, this shouldn't change that, even if she doesn't feel the same about you that you feel about her.

Be prepared that she may not share how you feel, but don't let that stop you from talking to her about this.

Most of all, relax. Whatever happens, happens.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[pandead]

I'll go with personal experience. I had the same kind of friendship with a boy, when knew each other for 15 years and I met him when I dated his best friend. He liked me but we could never talk about it, then I liked him but I was already with someone else.

One day I decided to tell him and poured my heart out. He said it would put our friendship in danger and we shouldn't even try (I guess it was a way to tell me he wasn't interested) and it all went downhill after that. The boy I was dating found out about all that, things got worse between me and my best friend and we ended up cutting all ties.

6 years later, he found me. I was studying in another country and he just said he missed me. It was like nothing happened between us and we picked up from there.

Moral of the story : even if the worst happens, best friends always find a way to salvage things. When you lose everything else, your friendship will last. My advice is, be confident and give it a try!

[answerme_tender]

From your post:
Soon I found out that she had a fall on me, but at the time I didn't like her, so we continued to be friends, and to hang out every day.

You thought it was okay to carry on the friendship and act like nothing out of ordinary when she fell for you. But because you have falling for her, she either has to return those same feelings or you can't carry on with friendship. Why double standard?
All you can do is talk to her about your feelings, hopefully she still wants more then friendship from you. But if not, and only what's friendship, I hope you can show as much dignity and kindness as she did when you rejected her deeper feelings.

[samolevski]

answerme_tender, you would have been right if I had said that "I can't carry on with friendship". However I haven't said that at all, you're imagining things :). If she doesn't respond to my feelings I am still going to be beside her, no matter what.
Thank you so much Altenweg and pandead, now I know what I should do, and I feel more confident. Thank you, really, I will let you know when there is a development :)

[samolevski]

Last night we talked about it, and she said that at the moment she doesn't share my feelings, but I told her that it doesn't matter. And that I love what we are right now, that I don't really need her to be my girlfriend, which is the truth. I'm grateful to have such a wonderful person in my life, as a friend, and I'm really happy that nothing has changed and we still love each other.

Thank you for your advices, if it weren't for them maybe I would have done something stupid :) Be well!