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    candyxoxo's Avatar
    candyxoxo Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 10, 2013, 06:06 PM
    I acted needy, texted him a lot, and annoyed him - can I redeem myself?
    Ok so this guy came over from America for business and we had been chatting online and he wanted to meet so we met and we slept together and then he wanted to see me again and he said he will tell me when he has free time and me stupidly the next day say "when will you see me then can you let me know" and I kept texting him and he did get annoyed so then I texted him a long apology message and I acted on emotions and not logic. I could tell he started to get annoyed and when I tried texting him casual conversation he wpuld ignore me and then I wpuld ask why he's ignoring me and he would say " stop worrying everything fine" but I know its not cause he isn't speaking to me like he used to. We are both datibg other people but we wanted to see how it goes and he wants to get to know me but will he still want to after how o acted I was a needy mess but would like to see him before he goes back to America like he said he would but I think I've blown it and he's really annoyed at me I just want to see him to clear the air cause he's only seen me once. Should I leave ot until he is next back from america and jusy speak woth him casually or should I ask him I don't want to annoy him anymore but it really hurts. I need to know what should I do to save or redeem myself? Please don't say ( move on) I will but I don't want him to think of me as some clingy mess as I came across I let my emotions get the best of me. I believe its possible as he says "we are friends" but he doesn't speak to me as a friend like he did, I know he's attracted to me so how can I regain his atttaction. What should I do I know to give him space but I want to see him before he goes how to I ask or mention it in a cool sort of friend way ? Or should I wait for his return even if its in afew months ?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 10, 2013, 06:12 PM
    Maybe it's less about annoying him and being greedy and more about sex the first time you met. Maybe he has placed you in a "person to have sex with but no relationship" category.

    I'd leave him alone - you can't make someone care for you, love you, contact you.

    Perhaps you served your purpose. Perhaps there are other issues.

    If you really want to know, ask him.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 10, 2013, 06:18 PM
    The thing about coming off as clingy and needy is that after you realize and try to repair it that again comes off as clingy and needy
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 10, 2013, 09:42 PM
    Ok so this guy came over from America for business and we had been chatting online and he wanted to meet so we met and we slept together and then he wanted to see me again and he said he will tell me when he has free time and me stupidly the next day say "when will you see me then can you let me know" and I kept texting him and he did get annoyed so then I texted him a long apology message and I acted on emotions and not logic. I could tell he started to get annoyed and when I tried texting him casual conversation he wpuld ignore me and then I wpuld ask why he's ignoring me and he would say " stop worrying everything fine" but I know its not cause he isn't speaking to me like he used to. We are both datibg other people but we wanted to see how it goes and he wants to get to know me but will he still want to after how o acted I was a needy mess but would like to see him before he goes back to America like he said he would but I think I've blown it and he's really annoyed at me I just want to see him to clear the air cause he's only seen me once. Should I leave ot until he is next back from america and jusy speak woth him casually or should I ask him I don't want to annoy him anymore but it really hurts. I need to know what should I do to save or redeem myself? Please don't say ( move on) I will but I don't want him to think of me as some clingy mess as I came across I let my emotions get the best of me. I believe its possible as he says "we are friends" but he doesn't speak to me as a friend like he did, I know he's attracted to me so how can I regain his atttaction. What should I do I know to give him space but I want to see him before he goes how to I ask or mention it in a cool sort of friend way ? Or should I wait for his return even if its in afew months ?
    This is going to be harsh:

    I have a very important question for you: Is cheating an acceptable way to end an old relationship or begin a new one? If you intend to find someone to replace the person you are currently seeing, end the present relationship and then look for someone new. Sliding from relationship to relationship is not a good idea especially if you are having sex with both people. If a pregnancy occurs, determining the father would take a DNA test.

    Why do you want to be with a man who cheats with the person he is with? Do you really think he will leave his girlfriend who is probably in his home city to have a relationship with someone in another country?

    I think you need to let him go and think about why you ended up in bed with someone you essentially just met. Getting to know someone on-line is not the same as getting to know them face-to-face.

    At the very least, let him contact you. In the meantime, do not sit around waiting for him to call. Get out and live your own life as though he is not a part of it. Build up your own self-confidence so that you no longer feel the need to cling to someone you barely know.

    I also suggest seeing your doctor and making certain you haven't been exposed to any sexually transmitted diseases or infections.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 11, 2013, 09:47 AM
    This guy slept with you right away I don't think "relationship" is on his mind. Then you got crazy with all the text. Leave this alone.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #6

    Jul 11, 2013, 12:20 PM
    You did come across as clingy and needy and there's no undoing that.
    Any contact you make will appear the same, no matter how you say it. It's too late for that part.
    What's not too late is the next time he's in your area.
    All you can do is WAIT silently to find out.
    If you are going to fall for guys this fast, don't sleep with them so fast!

    The place you need redeeming is the relationship with your boyfriend, poor guy.

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