[Sadkins04]

How can I make close friends when I'm in my 40's. I am friendly with my co-workers, but every time I have asked them to do anything outside of work, they are always busy. They have rich social lives, but I feel lonely. I am married, but my husband works all the time. My daughter has already graduated college and is now embarking on her career in another city. My teenage son acts like I have the plague every time I try to talk to him. My family outside of marriage lives miles and miles away, or has passed away. I am very lonely and depressed right now.

[joypulv]

1. Help out here. I have made friends here with people I've never met in person, and they are very dear.
2. Take a course. Absolutely guaranteed to make friends, whether it's watercolors or advanced physics.
3. Volunteer at a dog shelter, human shelter, women's center, library, any place that needs you.
4. Look in your local paper for groups (AA, therapy, self help, bereavement, all kinds, depending on how populated your area is).

[talaniman]

Activities and volunteering for causes you feel strongly about and you make friends over time. Good friends if not close. I understand the empty nest thing, and the need for human interactions besides work, and fulfillment.

Especially approaching the hormonal change in life where good clean adult fun is the way to go.

[Sadkins04]

Thank you for replying. It's nice to know someone out there understands. I will take your advice.

[Wondergirl]

Wherever I've worked, the trend is NOT to socialize (unless it's for a special reason like a retirement party). We spend all day together, and that seems to be enough togetherness.

Yes, like Joy said, check around for a volunteer position. It's usually for a minimum of two hours a week, and you can volunteer at more than one place. Just don't overextend yourself so you end up hating it.

You're a good writer. Look for a local writers' group and give that a try. Or a book discussion group. Usually the local library hosts these, or maybe the park district or a Y might do so.

If there is no writers' or book discussion group in your area, start one. I will help you get started.

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't make close friends automatically, you make friends,and some may or may not become close.

You joing groups at church, civic groups, and others and do activities. Having a friend is not going to make you happy, that comes from being happy first with your own life, if you want happiness from others, you will never get it.