Originally Posted by
marta2007
i felt hurt& took them to court & i didn't show up due to i had no money for lawyer. now my son won't speak to me!!:(
I'm sorry I didn't really get the few sentences that lead up to this situation? From what I gather you felt like you weren't getting there attention and the attention of the child. So you took them to court. Well there's your answer as to why he doesn't want anything to do with you.
I think there's a lot more that your not saying here and I'm going to be honest with you. The reason I asked all those questions is because I don't speak to my mom and dad. My dad is mainly the reason why as he was verbally and mentally abusive to me as a kid. He would then do and say things to purposely make me feel bad but in public everybody thought he was this nice, down to earth, funny and loving guy. But behind closed doors he was such a huge coward and purposely and with great pride put me down. After I finally called him on it one night when I was a teenager and now much bigger then him he started playing this game where he would be nice to me but say things behind my back to my sister or mother. I kept letting it go and did for years even into adulthood but I pretty much gave up on trying to be nice to him because he was a fake. Finally, a couple years ago he purposely interfered in my life and cost me a great opportunity and did something that was completely illegal. I called him up and tore into him and he sat there like a complete coward and said he didn't know what I was talking about. When I through the facts at him and proved that I knew he did know he started to change the subject.
That's me but I can tell you as the kid in that situation that if he's not talking to you there is a long history that your either in denial about or your not telling the whole truth about. But your took your child to court and something like that doesn't just happen. To get to that point there are YEARS of personal feelings that have been used and abused. This didn't just happen overnight and I don't want to through my own personal situation at you but I really take offense to this "oh I don't know why my son doesn't want to talk to me" stuff as some sort of guilt trip. You know good and well that taking your son to court is grounds for separation. The reason you state you didn't follow through was you didn't have the money. It had nothing to do with your son or his feelings.
Your trying to use emotional guilt trips to get your way. My dad does the same thing to my sister and actually used her as a emotional human bait to try and get me to come over to my parents. My dad is a coward for doing that because he can't apologize for what he's done so he uses his daughter. Your using the courts. Try using your heart and some honesty.
I'll tell you what I'd love for my father to admit that he knew what he was doing to me but the reality he's going to his grave that way. You can too or you can be honest with yourself and say "Yes I made some mistakes and I'm going to try and change them." Then be honest with your son and admit them. Then follow through and actually change.