[esguti2]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I love him a lot but I don't want to make the mistake I made once in the past. Four months ago he asked me to move in because he loves me and wants to share his life with me. We decided to move in together in September. I recently asked him again why he wanted to move in and he said I know you need the help financially and it’s a huge commitment. So I couldn't understand if the reason he is doing it is good. I told him, I don't need your help financially. He said I know that your struggle time to time, I want to help you.

In the past I moved in with my ex boyfriend because my house had burned down (due to city cable) After 6 months our relationship ended. I understood it was because moving because of financial issues should never be the choice. I have a job and it pays OK, I am able to pay my bills and everything but I don't have much to spend on myself... he knows that. He is a guy that is well off. He says he wants to help me because he wants me to enjoy some of my money not just let it go to bills.

I just don't know if I should do it or not. I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't know if maybe I am just over thinking everything.

[kaylafaye20]

Go for it girl! That man loves you!

[Fr_Chuck]

Bills and money is a good reason to move in, (assume you are having sex anyway)
Relationships end, and new ones start all the time. If he is well off, where does he live, Can he not just give you some money to help ?

And I did not hear any talk of marriage ? Why ?

[Homegirl 50]

If he wants you to move in so he can help you financially, he can do that without your moving in. Why are you waiting until September, that is several months away and why are you worried about it now? If you're not sure, don't do it. Would you want to marry this guy and he you?

[joypulv]

People who love each other (not just 'in love' which is the romantic stage) want to be close to each other. Talking about finances is second, and that's exactly what he did.
You say you love him but it doesn't sound like you trust his motives or yourself. Your past 'mistake' has nothing to do with this man; it's about you. If you have to ask strangers what to do when you haven't told us one thing wrong about him, and it's been a year, and he has said he wants to move in because of love FIRST, then to me he sounds like a worthy person to share your living space with. But I don't know either one of you! So maybe you aren't ready.
(September - is that when his lease is up?)
I'm also curious why you would ask him again. His first answer was full of love, because he loves you and wants to share his life with you. His second answer sounds like he's trying to find out what he needs to say if the first one wasn't good enough. Was it, or do you really want to hear a marriage proposal? If so, it's time to be honest.

[esguti2]

To be 100% honest... I do want to move in with him... but not right now. I wanted to move in with him in the past but for the wrong reasons... when I moved into my apartment 7months ago I was always complaining about money... and I told him,why don't we move in... at the time he said, we aren't ready, well more like I am not ready. I found a better job about 2months ago. I don't have financial needs anymore... so I realized that I really love him but I love living alone. In Sept. My lease is up and he wants us to start in a new place (his lease was up 2 years ago , so it has nothing to do with him needing me) but I don't want to move in with someone because he thinks he needs to help me. I am very happy that I have a man that is willing to do that doe me but I don't believe that should be the reason why couples need to move in. I am happy the way I am now... We live 4 blocks away from each other and inside of me I believe is the best to stay this way. I also talked about marriage with him and he said, I am not ready for that and I don't know if marriage is even for me. This was another red light for me. He is a great guy and spends every time of his with me and does everything he can do be the perfect guy but when he say he isn't ready for marriage then moving in, should not be our next choice. Our next move should be wanting marriage and putting a time frame on how long we will live together before we get married.

[joypulv]

I don't think you could have said it better!
He'll survive if he feels a little hurt for a while.

[Homegirl 50]

To be 100% honest.... I do want to move in with him...but not right now. I wanted to move in with him in the past but for the wrong reasons...when I moved into my apartment 7months ago I was always complaining about money...and I told him,why ddon't we move in...at the time he said, we aren't ready, well more like I am not ready. I found a better job about 2months ago. I don't have financial needs anymore...so I realized that I really love him but I love living alone. In Sept. My lease is up and he wants us to start in a new place (his lease was up 2years ago , so it has nothing to do with him needing me) but I don't want to move in with someone because he thinks he needs to help me. I am very happy that I have a man that is willing to do that doe me but I don't believe that should be the reason why couples need to move in. I am happy the way I am now... We live 4blocks away from each other and inside of me I believe is the best to stay this way. I also talked about marriage with him and he said, I am not ready for that and I don't know if marriage is even for me. This was anpthwr red light for me. He is a great guy and spends every time of his with me and does everything he can do be tjw perfect guy but when he say he isn't ready for marriage then moving in, should not be our next choice. Our next move should be wanting marriage and putting a time frame on how long we will live together before we get married.

I think that is wise. If you're not feeling it, don't do it.

[talaniman]

Keep talking until YOU are ready. No hurry to do anything.