[Highandlows]

I have come here because I don't know what to do about myself anymore. I lie a lot, about anything and everything and no matter how hard I try or tell myself that it's wrong, I can't stop. I know I'm a pathological liar. My mood swings have always been bad but they are so much worse now then they have ever been before. Sometimes I will talk really fast and make a lot of jokes and be on cloud 9 but then I will feel really depressed and realize how weird I was being and hate myself for it. I get irritated easily over stupid things and I always think people hate me or are out to get me when they probably aren't. I can't concentrate on things and I have a really bad memory. I having an eating disorder and a drinking problem. I don't really let people get very cole to me and when they do I push them away or end it or they end it because they start to see me for what I really am. I feel like there is no hope for me and I truly hate myself. I wish I was somebody else who isn't as ed up as I am. I wish I could have somebody else's life but I know I can't and when I think about my life in long term I truly dread it. I am not a good person and I feel like a strain or an annoyance to my family and what very few friends I have. I think I have bipolar disorder or maybe something worse and I honestly have no idea what to do.

[Risha12]

How old are you?

[joypulv]

You could be bipolar.. but the diagnosis isn't really the point. It's mainly for insurance requirements, and for a starting plan for such things as medications. Aside from medications there is talk therapy and groups. Where do you live, and do you think you can find a mental health clinic?
It's not something to be ashamed of, and it doesn't have to ruin your life. There are bipolar doctors and lawyers and teachers and other ordinary people all around you.

[Highandlows]

21

[Highandlows]

You could be bipolar.. but the diagnosis isn't really the point. It's mainly for insurance requirements, and for a starting plan for such things as medications. Aside from medications there is talk therapy and groups. Where do you live, and do you think you can find a mental health clinic?
It's not something to be ashamed of, and it doesn't have to ruin your life. There are bipolar doctors and lawyers and teachers and other ordinary people all around you.

Ya I looked into it for the first time ever. It's something that I've always needed to look into but never did because that would involve admitting to myself and possibly others that I have issues. I'm usually viewed as a really strong person and people vent about their problems to me so this will be quite the switch. I know there is something wrong with me, I just don't know what it is and I guess I just need a diagnosis so I can try to move forward.