[lostinlonley]

Hi there everyone.
I would greatly appreciate some help with what my partner wants.
I have endured over two years of trying to keep my man. He's come from a really ugly failed marriage that he walked out of. We meet over 18 months after his marriage ended. His ex still phones him and yells insults etc at him. I do know he loves me but I'm just not sure to what extent. We have had huge ups and downs over the last two years and I've stayed lolyal to him. He cheated once and I caught him out, the woman he cheated with still harasses, and I still remain by his side and loyal. But in the past two months he's spent more and more time away from me. He promises to come home or phone and every time he breaks that promise and comes up with an excuse as to why. I'm more confused as when I ignore his calls or turn my cell of he leaves me abuse saying turn your f***en phone on. He takes his anger from others out on me when he calls. He turns his cell off for days on end and when he calls I remain calm and collected like I'm not upset or worried. He tells me he's lovews me to bits and how he misses me but I'm so confused by his actions I no longer know where I stand. I endure all of this as I love this man with an undying love and strong passion, am I stupid or just tolerent. Please can anyone out there give me some much neede advice.

[magpie0045]

This is kind of like a book I read. This girl really liked him but he hit her and then said I love you to make up for it. And she stayed with him because of that little I love you at the end. But I think that with your situation you say he takes his anger from others out on you over the phone? It doesn't sound very safe. What if he happened to do that in person? Would he hit you? Could he do it? You say you love him, but would it be enough if he hit you? Going back to the book for a sec, after he first hit her, it became more often until he hit her almost everday. Now back to the sitation, he may just still be tramatized from his past marriage. But I'm not exactly sure.

[Alty]

This is abuse, plain and simple.

How long are you going to stand there while he walks all over you? Would you let a stranger treat you this way? Of course you wouldn't.

What exactly do you love about him?

The cheating?
The emotional abuse?
The fact that he still talks to the woman he cheated with?
That he has no respect for you?

Can't really see what there is to love. Maybe you can tell me.

[lostinlonley]

Thanks so much for the answered questions. I know you are right. I know that actions speak louder that words. I have tried everything I can to break free from this. I've now lost my friends and I have no family. I know I shouldn't stay. Every time I tell him I'm leaving he pulls out the first aid kit and tells me he loves me to pieces, that in itself makes me stay and I forget about what's happened when his arms are wrapped around me. I moved from my home town and got as job in his town as he requested. Its an ongoing struggle. Thnks for the sound words of advice