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    Michaiahjoy's Avatar
    Michaiahjoy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 24, 2013, 04:19 AM
    Boyfriend thinks I cheated on him.
    My boyfriend... well technically ex boyfriend as of today thinks that when we were together that I was sending guys nude pics and having sex with other guys behind his back.. No one has told him this or anything he just believes this for some strange reason. He thinks that I delete my texts and in reality I let him read ALL my texts and have my Facebook password... But nothing I say or do will convince him that I would never do that. He is constantly comparing me to his ex's that cheated on him and I'm nothing like them I would NEVER do that. I don't know what to do and I can't take the constant being put down and pretty much called a hoe when he is the only guys I've ever slept with. He broke up with me because he doesn't want to be hurt again so he pretty much broke up with me for something I have never done... its hurtful. I don't think there is any winning though. Any advice?
    Kennywags's Avatar
    Kennywags Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jan 24, 2013, 07:38 AM
    Many things you could do..
    1) make a deal with him, that you will save all texts and give him all your passwords (If you already do this for the most part it shouldn't be a problem for you)

    2) Try to convince him that you would never hurt him and never had any intentions to, and if there is someone specifically he wants you to distance yourself from you'll do it. REASON: most guys will start to feel jealous over something and instead of talking to you about it, they come up with some way to ignore it and get rid og it, i.e. the breakup.

    3) let him go. Do you really want that stress for the rest of your life? That is what relationships are for right? Sounds to me this guy is damaged from some other a-holes that screwed him over. Not his fault, not your fault. But there is nothing you can do, he's got to heal on his own over time.

    Hope this helped.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 24, 2013, 07:59 AM
    NEVER feel that you need to prove yourself to someone else. If you did nothing and gave him no reason to believe that you did, then there is nothing more you can do. If he is acting like this then he is an insecure person and you don't need to deal with that as he will only get worse as time goes on.

    You already show him your texts and gave him your passwords... in my opinion, this is wrong and is not something you should be doing anyway but... if that wasn't enough for him, nothing else you do will be. You are better off without him and his insults to you. There are guys out there that won't automatically start thinking you're cheating and needing proof otherwise. He's a loser, forget about him.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kennywags View Post
    many things you could do..
    1) make a deal with him, that you will save all texts and give him all your passwords (If you already do this for the most part it shouldn't be a problem for you)
    This is wrong and nobody should have to lower themselves to this in order to prove to someone that they are doing nothing wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kennywags View Post
    2) Try to convince him that you would never hurt him and never had any intentions to, and if there is someone specifically he wants you to distance yourself from you'll do it. REASON: most guys will start to feel jealous over something and instead of talking to you about it, they come up with some way to ignore it and get rid og it, i.e. the breakup.
    Really? She should distance herself from someone simply because this guy wants her to? Let's say she has a friend from childhood... a boy... no romantic dealings with this guy ever... but her boyfriend feels they are too close and she needs to distance herself. So she should do that, right? Just because he says so she should change her life and abandon her friends. No way.
    backpack2389's Avatar
    backpack2389 Posts: 255, Reputation: 83
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    #5

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:26 AM
    It sounds like your boyfriend, or ex, has been cheated on in the past multiple times. Once you have your trust destroyed by that many people, it's hard to build it again, i.e. he's paranoid. It's fine if you volunteer your passwords (so, for example, you can both keep track of bills, etc. ) but you shouldn't have to give him all your passwords to make him comfortable. This is an issue he will have to work on and it sounds like he's far from having it resolved.
    FightingBlues's Avatar
    FightingBlues Posts: 78, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:55 AM
    No, you should definitely not feel compelled to justify yourself to him. By the sounds of it, you did nothing wrong through your actions. Bending backwards for him only makes you look pathetic and weak. Your ex needs to wise up and realize that it is high time he take the blame off you for other people's mistakes. Making people accountable for the wrongdoings of other exs is a possessive and jealous quality of his that only he can fix. Until then, he shouldn't be with anyone as he will always find a way to prove that they were cheating when there really is no evidence. You definitely don't deserve to be treated as someone you're not. Stand up for yourself and don't go back to him. If he can't see you for who you are and appreciate what a great girlfriend you've been to him, then he shouldn't be with you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:57 AM
    He needed to be a ex long time ago, first time he called you a name and disrespected you in public. No idea why, change your password before you break up with him, and don't try to prove anything to a boyfriend again.

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