[hunnybunny1988]

Well here goes my story...

I recently broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. We dated for 8 months, which for many might not sound like long, but it was my longest relationship and he is my first true love. I am 23 by the way. The first 4 months was great, he was always there, attentive, so thoughtful, and my family and friends loved him. However, I found out he was still in contact with his ex-gf of 4.5 years. In fact when he and I made it official, she was still under the impression that they were “working things out". I found out that he was lying to her and telling her he was working 2 jobs etc. when he was really spending all of his time with me.

I broke up with him, however, after talking with my mom and friends I decided to give it a second go because he had been trying to cut off contact with her and agreed to give me access to his phone, and email etc. He also changed his email and phone number so that she could no longer contact him. During this time I also found out that he had lied about his schooling to impress me.

The last 4 months of our relationship was rocky to say the least. Although I believed we loved each other, and we spent just about every day together, he went out of his way to make me happy, and I truly believe he cared for me... I could not trust him due to his past. I started to question him about many things, many of them were about financial issues, and we got into many arguments with him proclaiming his honesty.

Well it turns out I was right about everything, he had lied to me about working, about losing his job, about not paying his phone bill, about not paying for his truck notes, and he had made up elaborate stories and kept them up for a good 3 months to cover all of his lies. It just baffles me how someone who was so good to me, would lie to me about these things. Things he could have been open with me about... Of course when I found this out I ended things (2 weeks ago) because there will never be any trust.

He has a lot of childhood issues that he has recently gotten into therapy for (so he tells me) although I believe this. There is always that doubt because he is a liar. He has yet to tell me why he lied to me about those things. And I realize I may never know.

It is just so hard though. Some days I am OK, other days I am dying to contact him, even though I know it will never work out right now. Part of me thinks, well he will get help in therapy and work on these things and we can be together. Then the other part tells me no. Even if he gets help I will never trust him. I need to move on from him, and recently found out he has attempted to get back in contact with his ex, which hurt me even more.

All of these thoughts run through my mind. Was I just a rebound, did he truly love me, why did he lie to me? I know I should be concerned with only me and not what he is doing/thinking but at times it is just so hard.

[talaniman]

You wanted him to be the one so bad so of course it's a hurting thing to accept he is NOT! In time you will and realize that it was his flaws that doomed this relationship, not yours, and not wait for him to be better. That may never happen, but two weeks is way to soon to expect the healing process to have taken place, and you have nothing to do with him until it does have a chance to work.

Yes its always hard and all break ups suck at first. But you did the right thing by dumping him. You will be glad you did.