Check out some similar questions!

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 07:14 PM

I was with a girl who was married. It was a long distance relationship. We knew each other for ten years and were great friends. Her husband beat me to her by less thane a year. She said her marriage was ending and we started seeing each other before it did. I was also in a relationship. I had been in love with her since I first met her though. We were there for each other through a lot of hard times. We started to fight a little (mostly about her estranged husband still being around). We made plans to move into together in a deffrenant city then either of us lived in. Five weeks before we were to move she told me that I was "too controlling" and moved to the new city with her husband. I asked her to explain how I could "control" her from five states away. She said I didn't really control her but that she felt that way at times. No further explination was given. Then she cut off all contact with me for reasons I still don't understand. I do still really love her In spite of all she's done and I have no idea what to do. Advise please?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 7, 2012, 07:21 PM

Leave her alone. She is with her husband and is not likely going to leave him for you.

Enigma1999 · Sep 7, 2012, 07:21 PM

Let her go. She doesn't want to be with you.

Harsh, I know, but it is the truth.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 7, 2012, 07:27 PM

She's married. She chose her husband. Leave her alone.

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 07:32 PM

Its not that simple. Her husband did a long list of really messed up things to her. He's an abusive alcoholic and a 38 year old night stalker at Walmart. I'm none of those things and am educated and have a good job. Its hard to understand.

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

Its not that simple. Her husband did a long list of really messed up things to her. He's an abusive alcoholic and a 38 year old night stalker at Walmart. I'm none of those things and am educated and have a good job. Its hard to understand.

oh and we were "together" for almost two years.

Enigma1999 · Sep 7, 2012, 07:47 PM

Again, she does NOT want to be with you, regardless of how he treats her or what his profession is... She doesn't want you.

It IS that simple. Leave her alone. Have some dignity, and DON'T become a stalker.

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 07:56 PM

I would never stalk anyone!

teacherjenn4 · Sep 7, 2012, 08:00 PM

Maybe those were just stories she told you. She married him and continues to choose him. No matter what, she didn't choose to move with you. Time to let go.

Enigma1999 · Sep 7, 2012, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

I would never stalk anyone!

That's good!

Look Brad, I realize that you are hurting. To you, this ISN'T that simple. The fact still remains, she cut off all contact with/from you.

It's time to move forward. This too shall pass.

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 08:05 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Maybe those were just stories she told you. She married him and continues to choose him. No matter what, she didn't choose to move with you. Time to let go.

They weren't just stories but your point is well taken. It's easy to say though not so hard to do. I put a lot into this relationship and I'm really hurt by this.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 7, 2012, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

They weren't just stories but ur point is well taken. It's easy to say though not so hard to do. I put a lot into this relationship and I'm really hurt by this.

I hate to say it, but there are no guarantees in any relationship. Stay away from married people. They are cheating on their spouse. What would stop them from cheating on you in the future?

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

I hate to say it, but there are no guarantees in any relationship. Stay away from married people. They are cheating on their spouse. What would stop them from cheating on you in the future?

Or right away in this case. Thanks so much for taking time to read this. I'm just super confused and this all happened suddenly and out of the blue. Thie fights (like three the whole time) that we did have seemed to behind us. Given the abuse and other issues she had with her husband I never saw them getting back together until it happened.

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

Or right away in this case. Thanks so much for taking time to read this. I'm just super confused and this all happened suddenly and out of the blue. Thie fights (like three the whole time) that we did have seemed to behind us. Given the abuse and other issues she had with her husband I never saw them getting back together until it happened.

one more question. Why do you think that she would want to cut me completely out of her life? We were friends for a very long time. Why do think she's not hurt by not talking to me?

teacherjenn4 · Sep 7, 2012, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

Or right away in this case. Thanks so much for taking time to read this. I'm just super confused and this all happened suddenly and out of the blue. Thie fights (like three the whole time) that we did have seemed to behind us. Given the abuse and other issues she had with her husband I never saw them getting back together until it happened.

There's a saying, "love is blind."

BradlyLain · Sep 7, 2012, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

one more question. Why do you think that she would want to cut me completely out of her life? We were friends for a very long time. Why do think she's not hurt by not talking to me?

Ok so that was two. Lol

teacherjenn4 · Sep 7, 2012, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by BradlyLain

Ok so that was two. Lol

I'm not sure that she's not hurting. She may be, but you won't know because she's moved away and moved on.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 8, 2012, 11:15 AM

She could be hurt, but maybe she is trying to heal her marriage.