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triplel524 · Aug 29, 2012, 01:17 PM

We have a similar situation... we have a 16 year old that has been in our lives since she was just 6 weeks old. She has lived with her mother and siblings. She has stayed with us every other weekend and considers us her parents, as well. Her home life is not good. Her mom is an alcoholic and her and her siblings all have different fathers (there are 4 of them). There is constant drama at home and she is being forced to raise her younger siblings while her mom and her boyfriend are out "playing". We have sat down with her mom and asked that she let us intervien and see what happens... they have a terrible relationship and fight all the time. Her mom has baiscally said no, however we have continued our relationship with her. Now, her mom has sent us a text and asked us to come and get her. (This was this past weekend), so we did. She is in our home and says she doesn't ever want to go back. Does this 16 year old have and rights?? What should we be doing?? She has her own room at our home and has had for 16 years... though we technically have no legal rights. At this point, we're not sure what will happen... can you help??

JudyKayTee · Aug 29, 2012, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by triplel524

We have a similar situation...we have a 16 year old that has been in our lives since she was just 6 weeks old. She has lived with her mother and siblings. She has stayed with us every other weekend and considers us her parents, as well. Her home life is not good. Her mom is an alcoholic and her and her siblings all have different fathers (there are 4 of them). There is constant drama at home and she is being forced to raise her younger siblings while her mom and her boyfriend are out "playing". We have sat down with her mom and asked that she let us intervien and see what happens...they have a terrible relationship and fight all the time. Her mom has baiscally said no, however we have continued our relationship with her. Now, her mom has sent us a text and asked us to come and get her. (This was this past weekend), so we did. She is in our home and says she doesn't ever want to go back. Does this 16 year old have and rights??? What should we be doing??? She has her own room at our home and has had for 16 years...though we technically have no legal rights. At this point, we're not sure what will happen...can you help???

Where and what is your relationship to her?

triplel524 · Aug 31, 2012, 08:59 AM

I started doing daycare for her when she was 6 weeks old and then she basically lived with us the first two years of her life (nothing legal, just an arrangement between her mom and us). Since then, we have her every other weekend, holidays, summer breaks, vacations, etc.

JudyKayTee · Aug 31, 2012, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by triplel524

I started doing daycare for her when she was 6 weeks old and then she basically lived with us the first two years of her life (nothing legal, just an arrangement between her mom and us). Since then, we have her every other weekend, holidays, summer breaks, vacations, etc.

This is inappropriate here - but the world needs more people like you.

The "easy" way is to get guardianship. Would the parents agree to sign? You will need paperwork to get her into school.

At 16 the Judge will listen to her but does not have to follow her "wishes." With that in mind it is possible to file for guardianship or custody (depending on where you are) in Court, proving that the parents are a danger to the child mentally, physically, emotionally. As I said, that's the difficult way.

Is there any chance the parents would give you guardianship?

triplel524 · Sep 2, 2012, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This is inappropriate here - but the world needs more people like you.

The "easy" way is to get guardianship. Would the parents agree to sign? You will need paperwork to get her into school.

At 16 the Judge will listen to her but does not have to follow her "wishes." With that in mind it is possible to file for guardianship or custody (depending on where you are) in Court, proving that the parents are a danger to the child mentally, physically, emotionally. As I said, that's the difficult way.

Is there any chance the parents would give you guardianship?

No, unfortunately, her mom is not willing to sign her "over", or we would have done that years ago. Thanks for your help.

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2012, 07:09 AM

Get an attorney. Courts are charged with ruling in the best interests of the child. It is possible you can convince a court that giving you guardianship is in her best interests. But its going to take an attorney to get this through the courts over the mother's objections.

JudyKayTee · Sep 2, 2012, 07:10 AM

Originally Posted by triplel524

No, unfortunately, her mom is not willing to sign her "over", or we would have done that years ago. Thanks for your help.

Can you prove the parents are unfit - and I know that could turn into a nightmare.

Mother won't even give you guardianship, which is far less formal, so you can enroll her in school?

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2012, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Can you prove the parents are unfit - and I know that could turn into a nightmare.

Mother won't even give you guardianship, which is far less formal, so you can enroll her in school?

I'm guessing here, that she would go to the same school, so that is probably not an issue.