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    foxrider1's Avatar
    foxrider1 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 24, 2012, 12:10 AM
    Very confusing
    Okay on Saturday night we were fine, then Sunday night my girlfriend of 5 years decided to break up with me because she said she doesn't feel intimacy with me.

    At the moment, she can't tell me if we will get back together or not, though she doesn't want me out of her life. She still always wants to hang out and for the past two days has been texting me all day. We also went out for sushi last night and a bit of a drive. I have moved my stuff out of the room, but I am still sleeping in her bed but just sleeping. No kissing or anything.

    She was intensely stressed with uni and work lately, so after the break up I decided to stay at a friends house for a couple of days. She is also not interested in sex all that much and never was, and has always felt like she was being used unless it was really romantic.

    We were supposed to be going on a cruise at the end of the year with her friends, which I get along with well. She asked me to still come please? I said I don't think I can, then asked why would she want me to? She just said "because I want you to travel"

    I have no idea what is going on so I am just basically allowing her to contact me if she wants too, although we live together but I just keep too myself.

    I do want her back but I don't know what to do..
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Aug 24, 2012, 12:39 AM
    I can't know if she feels something is lacking in your general affection and romantic gestures throughout the day, such that she doesn't feel like having sex with you, or if she never really felt much desire for sex for you or anyone. But like many people during a break up, she won't let go because you are comfortable and likable and she also is afraid of being alone. If this 'hanging on' is painful, which it usually is for the one being dumped, then tell her you can't have anything to do with her anymore and tell her why. You have to mean it because she may try to talk you out of it. This is all just the very common 'let's be friends' vs. no contact.
    foxrider1's Avatar
    foxrider1 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 26, 2012, 11:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I can't know if she feels something is lacking in your general affection and romantic gestures throughout the day, such that she doesn't feel like having sex with you, or if she never really felt much desire for sex for you or anyone. But like many people during a break up, she won't let go because you are comfortable and likable and she also is afraid of being alone. If this 'hanging on' is painful, which it usually is for the one being dumped, then tell her you can't have anything to do with her anymore and tell her why. You have to mean it because she may try to talk you out of it. This is all just the very common 'let's be friends' vs. no contact.
    I want to go no contact but I live with her. I came home from work yesterday and played happy, she was quite upset. She cooked us dinner, we ate together and she went to her room. I left her for 3 hours by her self. Then went and just talked about life, we also talked about us and basically why she doesn't want to be with me. I said howcome she doesn't seem hurt over this and she replies because it doesn't feel real. I want to go no contact but how?

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