[jamesfisher]

My ex and I broke up in May. Since then we have both been talking everyday on skype or the phone. For a few months I returned home from working abroad where she lives. WE still spoke a lot and she wanted to see what would happen when I got back. This was in October and since then everything has been going good. We have been on several dinner dates together a week, calling everyday, going on bike rides together, hanging with her friends and sister. Good times. We didn't get physical but have been talking about it and have nice romantic hugs and kiss on the lips. I can be patient.
I occasionally pressed her to see if we could make a go of this, she always replied that she was unsure that she wanted a relationship and we should just keep doing what we were doing and it should happen naturally. We originally broke up because we were having a lot of arguments for a month or so. I since realise how much I love her and this time around we haven't argued once.
On Monday I pushed for an answer and told her that other girls are asking me out ( which is true ) she said she doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now. She is stressed with work and just wants to chill at home after work and not have the stress of a boyfriend. She said there is no one else in her life and I believe her and that if she wanted a boyfriend it would be me.
Now I am confused about what to do. We haven't spoken since that call. Do I give up and move on and just not contact her to heal, or give her a month to chill out, miss me and try again? Or try and get back to where we were with dating and such, but without pressurising her. I do love her loads and it seems a shame to give up but also it is hard to date her and not know if it will work out.
Thanks for your time and I am interested to hear your thoughts

[gara]

I think you get the answer you looking for , when the woman answer if you asked a question that you really want , they always put it in different ways , so I think she said she is not ready for relationship , so man move on and go out with other girls , if you break up with her , you have to know one thing , if a girl didn't under stand the love you are carrying with your chest , and break up with her , don't be frindes with her , so walk away man and give her the space she asked you , the space that she talking about when she come from work and she is stress , what a lame answer and excuse , man you already got offers to gout with another girls , life is too short to brag about this girl ,if she have work let her date her work and let it be boy friend for her , and about you , it's your life man , you want to play the roll of cat and chase her for the rest of your life, think about it.

[joypulv]

This is all a little confusing, because you haven't said why you broke up in the first place.

Sometimes you have to take a stand. Maybe it's time to say you can't go on like this, that you love her but are not going to see her or talk or text, because it's too painful. Your choice, your risk.

Some women want to hear about a future. The 5 year and 10 year plan. After all, they are the ones with the biological clock. Even modern (whatever that means) career women with independent minds.

[ironhide262]

Your dealing with one confused girl here. You broke up, you went away to work for a while, she missed you, then basically you got back together in a way, she's having doubts, your having doubts. Welcome to the post break up roller coaster ride!

I think the best thing for the both of you is to stay apart and cut contact... she needs to figure things out and you need to as well. This should give the both of you the clarity that you need. She already knows how you feel and you should have been given nothing less than 100% commitment from her... but, you didn't. Sucks but, you can't wait forever.

[talaniman]

You never ever use the other girls are awaiting as a way to press for what you want. That's a big turn off, and any one would back away from that. Leave her alone, and pursue your other options.

What ever happened to the days where you dated for the fun, and opportunity of getting to know someone, and let them know you?? What's the all fired up hurry to have a title, and posses someone. I just don't get it!!

[dynocompe]

I would definitely move on and go no contact. She may think she doesn't want a boyfriend. Maybe what she likes most is the control she has now over you, your at her beg and call. I would definitely just tell her, that you are looking for a commitment from someone. And tell her that you must part ways since you two don't want the same thing. You may love her, but the relationship will not work, if only one is willing to participate.
Either go no contact, or you can continue to be her little puppy dog, and never lead to dating. If you do want to date this girl, you can't push her into it, or try to manipulate her so she will date you, by saying there is other girls lined up. If you push her, or keep asking, she will always say no to you. You must take some control of the situation, make her miss you, you got to make her want you. Your not really making her want you when she knows you will always be there no matter what she does. She will just continue to walk all over you.