[VanillaChip]

Hello all,
I need some advice about whether to stay with my girlfriend. It might help to give you a little background info first.

I've been in a relationship with the girl for about 3 years now. We got together just after college began, and within a couple of months, we fell in love. I mean like hot, deeply meaningful, romantic love- we had sex constantly, we spent every possible minute of the day together, etc... Maybe it happened that way because neither of us had had a boyfriend or girlfriend before.

Anyway, after 8 months or so like that, we spent a month apart. When we reunited, it was clear that she had begun to cool off a little bit. She still wanted to be with me, but in a far less feverish relationship. By that point, I was, as Robert Palmer would say, addicted to love, and I did not take the change well. Over the next few months, I put a lot of strain on our relationship with my jealousy and possessiveness, and she grew more distant. We still had some great moments together, but during that time, neither of us were happy. Still, no one suggested ending the relationship, considering just months earlier we had been so in love that such an idea was unimaginable.

After that rough semester, we parted for the summer with plans to meet up again in the Dominican Republic just before the start of the school year.

By the end of the summer, my girlfriend seriously began to doubt our relationship. A week before we met in the DR, she kissed another guy, I later found out.

On the island, she told me she didn't know if she wanted to be with me any more. I told her that if she wasn't sure, we shouldn't be together. So we ended things there (for the first time), and then proceeded to have amazing sex for the remaining five days of the vacation.

We returned to school, officially broken up, and strangely, I felt great. I felt as if a huge strain had been lifted, because in a certain way, it had. She, on the other hand, couldn't stop crying. She would call me weeping, telling me she was confused, and I would think about how much I still loved her. Over the next month, we got back together and broke up about 5 or 6 times, before settling in as a remarkably happy couple for the final 3 months of the semester.

Now we're both studying abroad. We've been apart for about 6 months, and we'll see each other again in two, when the school year starts. She has made no effort to see me before then, after I suggested that we try to find a way to spend the summer together. Now she's working at summer camp in the woods, and she's more or less out of touch. I find myself really frustrated that in a relationship that has lasted so long (3 years, I remind you), that I consider to be so important, she will not go out of her way to cut 9 months apart down to 7 months apart.

I really enjoy being with her. I still love her a lot. And she still loves me. But I feel like I will always want more, while she will always want more space. Plus, even from a continent apart, this relationship STRESSES ME OUT! Jeez louis. I don't want to be her boyfriend only when it's convenient for her.

So, I'm contemplating cutting things off. I could be overreacting, and considering our history, if I did cut things off, it would be a miracle if we didn't get back together again. But, what do you think? Should I be a man and end things for good? Or wait gracefully for two months and take things in stride? Thanks for your advice.

[Nick8]

I've personally never known a love yours because I'm 16 but even I can see she may not be the one for you. Maybe she is, but I can't decide this for you. Find the courage to tell her how you feel. If she refuses to listen or acknowledge the topic then you may have an issue. Best of luck to you mister.