[badgerboy33]

Okay, so I I know most of you will say that I shouldn't be going anywhere near a woman with a boyfriend. Let me explain.
We have been friends for over a year, and very close friends for the last 6 months. We do a lot of activities together (usually with other friends though) and we always end up chatting just between the two of us on a night out.
All this time she has had a boyfriend (they live together) and they split up for a short time about 3 months ago. She asked me at the time what I thought of him and I was honest (he was flirting with other women and is a pretty awful guy in general). Anyway, she got back with him but she hasn't mentioned his name to me since, not once, even though they are still together. I know she talks about him to other friends but never in my company. Because we have mutual friends that like to gossip I know for a fact that she likes me a lot and that she knows that I like her a lot.
Like I say, this has been going on for months (close friends, nothing more), and all that time I have been secretly completely in love with her and hoping she sees her boyfriend for what he is. She even told a mutual friend she's not sure if she even likes him as a person, let alone loves him anymore.
Also, she told another friend that she wanted to run away with me, and that she is struggling not to fall in love with me.
All of this, and trying to pretend I don't love her is really hurting me emotionally so I would really appreciate some advice on if you think I should just come out and tell her how I feel? making sure that I'll always be there as a friend but if she wants a relationship with me I'm here for her.

[durpstick]

This girl needs to figure herself out. Its not fair to you or her boyfriend. From what you have said here, it sounds like she is playing you two. So you, tell her how you feel, if she doesn't feel the same then back off a bit from her. If you keep to close, you'll only get hurt.

[rocketman11]

Okay, so I I know most of you will say that I shouldn't be going anywhere near a woman with a boyfriend. Let me explain.
We have been friends for over a year, and very close friends for the last 6 months. We do a lot of activities together (usually with other friends though) and we always end up chatting just between the two of us on a night out.
All this time she has had a boyfriend (they live together) and they split up for a short time about 3 months ago. She asked me at the time what I thought of him and I was honest (he was flirting with other women and is a pretty awful guy in general). Anyway, she got back with him but she hasn't mentioned his name to me since, not once, even though they are still together. I know she talks about him to other friends but never in my company. Because we have mutual friends that like to gossip I know for a fact that she likes me a lot and that she knows that I like her a lot.
Like I say, this has been going on for months (close friends, nothing more), and all that time I have been secretly completely in love with her and hoping she sees her boyfriend for what he is. She even told a mutual friend she's not sure if she even likes him as a person, let alone loves him anymore.
Also, she told another friend that she wanted to run away with me, and that she is struggling not to fall in love with me.
All of this, and trying to pretend i don't love her is really hurting me emotionally so I would really appreciate some advice on if you think I should just come out and tell her how I feel?, making sure that I'll always be there as a friend but if she wants a relationship with me I'm here for her.

Simple: Leave her alone, forget about her and move on. You must NOT tell her how you feel at all. Her boyfriend may not appear to be a nice guy but don't sink lower than him by trying to go after his girlfriend.

It sounds like she is immature and unable to have a healthy relationship because:
1) She keeps going back to the same guy.
2) She continues to have a relationship with someone she apparently doesn't love whilst harbouring feelings for someone else.
3) She is playing you both.

Why would you say "if she wants a relationship with me I'm here for her"? If she wanted a relationship with you she would have left her boyfriend ages ago. Are you really willing to be used as her rebound? Because that is what you'll be if you continue to put her on a pedestal. Healthy realtionships can only work if both parties are free from emotional baggage, she clearly has a lot with her boyfriend.

If she was with you, what is going to stop her from developing feelings and falling in love with someone else? She would have done it in the past, how can you trust her? And what is to stop her from going back to her ex? Because again she has done it in the past.

You may think my comments are harsh but I don't want her to use you. I can tell you have a loving and devoted heart, but don't give it to her and don't let her break it. Give your heart to someone who truly deserves it.

I hope you do the right thing, Good luck!

[slapshot_oi]

Stay away from her for your own sake, not for the sake of her boyfriend. Who cares about him? He's a jerk; you reap what you sow.

I believe she's "struggling to fall in love with you" because she knows you're safe and, in contrast to her jerk boyfriend, you're a saint. But if she was single and stable (not on the rebound), would you still be as tempting to her? My point is that you're her convenient alternative to her troubled relationship, you're not her first choice. You should always be the first choice. Relationships founded on convenience tend to flare up and burn out quickly and culminates with a broken heart. I should know, I stupidly did this three times in the past.

but if she wants a relationship with me I'm here for her.

You proved my point, you already see yourself as an alternative.

If you pursue this woman, you're asking to get hurt.

[badgerboy33]

Thank you all for your advice. That has really helped. I'm going to keep my distance from her for a while and when I do see her make it clear by my actions that I am only her friend, nothing more.
Thanks again.