[Lottie1234]

I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months but we were very close friends for years before. We were always asked if we were dating or if he was gay. Sometimes I thought that he was gay and other times I thought he fancied me. I asked him numerous times if he was gay and he always said no. He acts very camp, and has feminine mannerisms, however he has only one sister (twin sister) and I wonder if this is why?

When we begin dating I was on his computer one day and saw an explicit email to a man, it was sent before we were together as a couple so I just ignored it.

I am his first serious girlfriend, and during an agruement I made reference to the email, he lied about it and swore on his fathers grave until I told him I had read it. He then got really panicky and begged me to tell him what I saw.
After I told him he told me that growing up he always thought he was gay because he didn't act like other boys, but when he hit his teenage years and started watching porn he only wanted to watch girls. He said he couldn't understand that if he was gay why he was attracted to females and mainly me. He said he thought he would change the first time he had sex. But now he's with me he knows he's straight and that he loves me and wants to be with me.

When we are together we get on so well, people have told me that they are jealous of our relationship. When it's just me and him he always compliments my body e.g my boobs and bum and he ges erect from just lying next to me and kissing. I have never been with him and never done anything sexual, and he loves when I give him oral. But we have never actually had full proper sex. And he begged me for ages to perform oral sex on me?

I'm just really confused, after him admitting this I wanted a break he's texted me saying he loves me, but I don't know what to do, I don't want to be the girl he experiments on, I've started to believe that he is just trying to be straight but if he ever had a sexual relationship with a male he would realise he's gay.

If I broke up with him because he was gay I would always remain a close friend with him cause I can't see my life without him, I think maybe he feels the same and maybe regrets starting a relationship with his friend?

Please help!

[Cat1864]

I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months but we were very close friends for years before. We were always asked if we were dating or if he was gay. Sometimes I thought that he was gay and other times I thought he fancied me. I asked him numerous times if he was gay and he always said no. He acts very camp, and has feminine mannerisms, however he has only one sister (twin sister) and I wonder if this is why?

When we begin dating I was on his computer one day and saw an explicit email to a man, it was sent before we were together as a couple so I just ignored it.

I am his first serious girlfriend, and during an agruement I made reference to the email, he lied about it and swore on his fathers grave until i told him i had read it. He then got really panicky and begged me to tell him what I saw.
After I told him he told me that growing up he always thought he was gay because he didn't act like other boys, but when he hit his teenage years and started watching porn he only wanted to watch girls. He said he couldn't understand that if he was gay why he was attracted to females and mainly me. He said he thought he would change the first time he had sex. But now he's with me he knows he's straight and that he loves me and wants to be with me.

When we are together we get on so well, people have told me that they are jealous of our relationship. When it's just me and him he always compliments my body e.g my boobs and bum and he ges erect from just lying next to me and kissing. I have never been with him and never done anything sexual, and he loves when I give him oral. But we have never actually had full proper sex. And he begged me for ages to perform oral sex on me?

I'm just really confused, after him admitting this I wanted a break he's texted me saying he loves me, but I dunno what to do, I don't want to be the girl he experiments on, I've started to believe that he is just trying to be straight but if he ever had a sexual relationship with a male he would realise he's gay.

If I broke up with him because he was gay I would always remain a close friend with him cause I can't see my life without him, I think maybe he feels the same and maybe regrets starting a relationship with his friend?

Please help!!

First, you have done done 'something sexual.' Oral sex is sexual activity.

Second, heterosexual males can have 'female mannerisms' just like heterosexual females can have 'masculine mannerisms'. Mannerisms do not mean anything when it comes to sexuality.

Third, he has told you that he is not gay. He has told you that he is attracted to you. Unless you are male, he is heterosexual (though he could be bi-sexual, but it doesn't change how he feels about you.)

Perhaps he is bisexual. That only means that he can be attracted to both males and females. It doesn't mean he can't be attracted to one person more than any other. Most bi-sexual people I have met and talked to are perfectly happy being in a monogamous relationship. Being attracted to a gender pales in comparison to falling in love and being attracted to an individual.

It all comes down to you and your thoughts and feelings. You seem to be the one wanting him to be homosexual. You seem to be upset that he says he isn't. Are you wanting him to be your boyfriend and sexual experimentation partner (if you are inexperienced then you are experimenting the same way he is in finding out what you like and need) or do you want him as your best friend without the romantic entanglement?

How much are your own fears/concerns about relationships affecting how you perceive his 'motivations' for being with you? What do you really want in the relationship?

[Lottie1234]

"I have never been with him and never done anything sexual"

I meant that I have never gone to his house without me and him doing anything sexual, we always do.

[WisperWill70]

I agree with everything Cat1864 brings up -there are plenty of straight men who have what people would call "feminine" mannerisms or tastes. It's possible that he does have a bisexual component to his sexuality (sexuality is not always black and white and most people fall somewhere on a spectrum between totally 100% attracted to the opposite sex and totally 100% attracted to the same sex) but that doesn't have anything to do with anything if he wants to be in a monogamous relationship with you, feels straight, is sexually attracted to you and loves you.

A bisexual man who commits to a woman in a monogamous relationship is no different than a heterosexual man who commits to a woman -- you agree that you'll be in a sexually exclusive relationship with her, you care about her and you aren't "looking" for others! You are sexually attracted to men and presumably you agree to not be "looking" for others.. yeah? ;)

Are you sure this is about his sexuality, or do you yourself have something that is causing you to look for an out? It could be that you're afraid of trusting a relationship and being intimate with someone.

[Lottie1234]

I've only been dating my boyfriend a couple of months and we just fool around. I used to give him handjobs and he would come all the time although it took a long time. Then I started giving him oral which he says he prefers but I can't make him during it as it don't want it in my mouth, and now when I give him a handjob he doesn't either?

Sometimes if I doing it he says that he won't , cause he came before or is tired but then 10 minutes later he will do it himself when I am lying there? Which makes me feel totally useless. Why does he do this?

I know he watches porn and masturbates when I am not with him, does he prefer himself doing it or am I just awful?

[JudyKayTee]

Didn't you think about breaking up with him because you think he's gay? Maybe he's gay.

Maybe he doesn't like your "technique."

The only way to know is to ASK him.

I'm not sure that "just fooling around" is not sex, although it includes oral sex but okay... President Clinton had the same view.

To quote you: " I have never been with him and never done anything sexual, and he loves when I give him oral. But we have never actually had full proper sex. And he begged me for ages to perform oral sex on me?" You don't consider oral (and hand) sex to be "anything sexual"? And if he has or does perform oral on you, that's not sexual?

I don't understand where sex acts begin and friendly acts end - ?

[CravenMorhead]

I know I am late coming to this game but something is confusing me with your posts.

Have you had sex with him. IE, has he put his penis in your Vagina?