[Denver1124]

I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year. We have been together for 2 and a half years. He is 31 and I am 27. Over the past two years things have been up and down.

Basically what has happened is I have wanted things to move forward (getting a house, getting engaged, etc). I have seen that with him and he saw that with me. We fought a lot and then things feel apart. Recently also I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety and emotional problems. I am going to counseling weekly and taking anti depressants. I want to get better and he knows I am trying. I have been an emotional wreck for a while.

I push and push and ask lots of questions because I am afraid to lose him. I am not trying to bug him or push him away, but unfortunately that is what it is doing. I am so confused also so that's why I ask what is going on. He tells me he does not think we are meant for each other, he says he does not think this will work out and he has little confidence. But he also tells me he wants to try and does still love me and does not want to break up.

Obviously those statements are very confusing so I ask questions and it pisses him off. He says he does not want to be in a relationship with the constant questions. I am sad and afraid I am losing him. I do not know what to do, I few days will go by and we get along great and have fun together, then I have the confidence to ask how he feels and it breaks my heart.

If he feels this poorly about where our relationship is going then why is he telling me he will try. The only feelings I get out of him are bad and hurt me. It blows my mind how it is to this point now. I thought things were getting better and apparently they are not to him. Then why doesn't he leave them. He said he does not want to but then he says all the bad feelings he has.

What am I suppose to do? I feel strongly about him, we have a place together, a dog, and he used to feel much stronger about me before. Should I back off, it scares me because I think if I back off then he will leave. I cry and cry and call him and call him and he just yells at me and hangs up on me and breaks my heart. I know that doing this is getting the reaction I am getting, but I think that well the next time I call or the next time I ask it might be a better answer.

He no longer is intimate with me unless I initiate it. What do I do? I feel empty and rejected and no longer loved. He has told me if he wants to leave me he will tell me and if he feels better he will tell me. I guess I need to be patient and see what happens. Its is hard because all the negative feelings he has.

I feel better after a weekend of complete happiness and then he tells me well it was only three days that does not mean it will work out and that does not mean he will feel better. Then what the hell will make him feel better!?

[rokolife]

Hi
You seem Hirt and I just want to respond because when I asked out of desperation like yourself, people did answered me.
It seems to me that this guys is only hitting you and you should work on yourself getting over him and mover ruther than both, as a couple.. I see you Hirt for the rest of your life because this guy don't love you.
I somehow relate to your experience !
I wish you begs of luck! And remember it couldn't been a lot worst! Be thankfull and do the right thing no matter how hard:)

[Homegirl 50]

I think you need to move into your own place and work on yourself.
He does not seem to know what he wants and that does not help you either.
Neither of you are good for the other right now and this dependence you have on him is not healthy.

[Denver1124]

Thank you for your insight. It sucks and it seems the only option I have is to move out and leave it

[Homegirl 50]

I think that is a wise choice and I wish you well.