Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    amandamiles89's Avatar
    amandamiles89 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    May 30, 2012, 11:19 AM
    How do I fix sex in our relationship?
    I need help... I'm 23 years old and my boyfriend is 29. We have known each other for 6 years and been together off and on for 4 years. I met him online and moved here for him... Leaving all family and friends... Now while we have had our share of problems we have been back together for close to a year now... And I finally moved us away from all the roommates... My problem is we have sex maybe 1 to 2 times a month... I beg I pleaded but all I get is denied... he even turns to porn instead of me... It hurts because I feel very unattractive and unwanted... I don't get it we used to have sex all the time but now it's almost non existent... I believe that the reason that he won't have sex with me is because when we were broken up for 5 months I did have sex with someone else while he didn't... He tells me all the time that that is what I get but I feel as though I didn't do anything wrong... Does he have the right to punish me even though we weren't together... I try so hard but nothing is working... I love him and want to get married and have kids but if we can't get through this how are we going to move on... He tells me sex is not all of a relationship and I agree but it is part of it I think... Am I wrong or how do I fix it? Is it even fixable?? Someone help...
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
    		  
    #2

    May 30, 2012, 01:40 PM
    No one has the right to punish their significant other. Period. Less so for "sins" committed outside the times that you were together. That is red flag number one. The second is that he is withholding. That isn't kosher either.

    What I have seen, and it isn't always the case, but when a couple takes a break or splits up, unless the original issue has been dealt with, then it won't last. I have seen it a lot. A couple gets back together, flogs a dead horse some more and breaks up.

    You didn't do anything wrong in the break. You weren't with him and there probably wasn't any intention to get back together.

    I would dump him. Get away. Go back to family and friends and start anew. This is probably going to end of being a toxic relationship, and while you have plans for the future with him, they are romantic and ignoring the current situation. As an exercise. Imagine him as the father of a child a few years hence. Is this the father you want?

    What would your life be like? Would it all be worth it?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    May 30, 2012, 01:49 PM
    Off and on several times over 4 years, does not sound real stable, and there are other issues.

    Unless both of you can get into counseling I see little hope for the relationship.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #4

    May 30, 2012, 01:49 PM
    Off and on several times over 4 years, does not sound real stable, and there are other issues.

    Unless both of you can get into counseling I see little hope for the relationship.
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How to fix insecurities in a relationship? [ 5 Answers ]

I have been dating my boyfriend or about two months now. We just recently became Facebook friends (as in the last week). He never changed his relationship status on FB so then I never changed mine. He talks to his ex girlfriend a lot more then he talks to me. He texts her in front of me but I think...

How can we fix our relationship [ 3 Answers ]

OK it's a long story and there are a lot of details to take into consideration. OK I started dating this guy in high school about 3 years ago and we were great. There was attention, there was chemistry, there was everything. Dam that boy was fine. But then we graduated. The only way for us to be...

How do I fix this relationship? [ 15 Answers ]

I have been dating this girl for around two years. In August we went on break for about a month. I gave her the space she needed and pretty much ignored her texts to the point, where I told her do not text me anymore, if you want to chat call me. So she did about a month later and we were back...

How do I fix my relationship? [ 3 Answers ]

Me and my girlfriend have a two year old daughter and she is pregnant with my other child. I dealt with her being abusive to me and hurting me mentally, she suffers from depression and she says she still loves me and misses me she has kept me from seeing my daughter now for 2 and half weeks, I've...

How Do I Fix My Relationship [ 8 Answers ]

Okay so me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year now, and things have been good until now. First let me lay down the basics when we first met and all that. We both met online and set up a date and saw each other, and we both really liked each other. There was one thing she didn't like,...

View more questions Search