I need help... I'm 23 years old and my boyfriend is 29. We have known each other for 6 years and been together off and on for 4 years. I met him online and moved here for him... Leaving all family and friends... Now while we have had our share of problems we have been back together for close to a year now... And I finally moved us away from all the roommates... My problem is we have sex maybe 1 to 2 times a month... I beg I pleaded but all I get is denied... he even turns to porn instead of me... It hurts because I feel very unattractive and unwanted... I don't get it we used to have sex all the time but now it's almost non existent... I believe that the reason that he won't have sex with me is because when we were broken up for 5 months I did have sex with someone else while he didn't... He tells me all the time that that is what I get but I feel as though I didn't do anything wrong... Does he have the right to punish me even though we weren't together... I try so hard but nothing is working... I love him and want to get married and have kids but if we can't get through this how are we going to move on... He tells me sex is not all of a relationship and I agree but it is part of it I think... Am I wrong or how do I fix it? Is it even fixable?? Someone help...

No one has the right to punish their significant other. Period. Less so for "sins" committed outside the times that you were together. That is red flag number one. The second is that he is withholding. That isn't kosher either.

What I have seen, and it isn't always the case, but when a couple takes a break or splits up, unless the original issue has been dealt with, then it won't last. I have seen it a lot. A couple gets back together, flogs a dead horse some more and breaks up.

You didn't do anything wrong in the break. You weren't with him and there probably wasn't any intention to get back together.

I would dump him. Get away. Go back to family and friends and start anew. This is probably going to end of being a toxic relationship, and while you have plans for the future with him, they are romantic and ignoring the current situation. As an exercise. Imagine him as the father of a child a few years hence. Is this the father you want?

What would your life be like? Would it all be worth it?

Off and on several times over 4 years, does not sound real stable, and there are other issues.

Unless both of you can get into counseling I see little hope for the relationship.

Off and on several times over 4 years, does not sound real stable, and there are other issues.

Unless both of you can get into counseling I see little hope for the relationship.