[dwidrick]

Haven't been on this board in a while but figured that I have some new stuff I could use a little perspective on.

So as a few of the main board members may know I had a break-up with my ex about 10 or so months ago give or take. Took a while for me to accept it but I was able to move forward and enjoy myself without her and even spark some interest from other women as I went.

About 4 months ago my ex came back with a new perspective and really wanted to give us another shot. To this board's dismay, and long story short, I finally did just that as I was happy to hear some of her new found sureness on what she wanted, etc.

Anyway we have been giving it a shot these last few months... haven't really considered ourselves officially dating again but spending some time with each other to see what comes of it. I will say that it wasn't hard for me to regain many of the strong feelings I previously had for her and really enjoyed spending time with her again.

Shortly into this however and continuing until around this time our relationship hasn't gotten much better like we thought it would. I work during the week and she works at all different hours and regularly works weekends so we don't see each other much. We are an hour and a half away and I don't find myself having an issue with the distance or lack of time together as I enjoy the few times I get to see her as much as I ever have.

The problem is that she does not handled the distance well. She finds herself upset that she can never see me and in tern tends to be upset even on the days I do get to visit her where logical thinking for me would think she should be happy. Even when we do spend time together she is always tired from working all day and doesn't have a lot of motivation to do anything. We rarely have intercourse, but don't have issues with kissing or sleeping with one another or anything. Neither of us have been very good at expressing that we love each other, and while I don't need the constant reassurance that she does, I know she does and I haven't done as good a job as I could with it.

Long story short as much as it hurt her and I, I suggested to her that we just be friends as our relationship right now does nothing but stress her out and in tern cause me to dislike the way she is acting. I have tried to go see her as much as possible but the fact that she works a lot weekends, our rare time together, and general just dismay that this whole issue has put on both of us I and eventually her felt it is the best course of action at this point.

We really both feel that if we were able to see each other on a regular basis that our relationship would be great and could grow. But right now it is just not in the cards right now as she wants a new job and I would also like to relocate eventually. We felt it best to just remain friends and maybe re-kindle our relationship down the road if the opportunity arises that we can get in the same location. If not, oh well we shared some great times and have to face the sad facts and move forward.

Sorry for the long post but do you guys think I did the right thing? I really can see her and I being a great pair if we were able to be in the same location. I just know how hard of a time she has had with her job hours, lack of financial stability, and being unable to see me much. It just adds to her stress at this point. I want to be next to her but it isn't that easy to just relocate at the snap of a finger.

[mmresd]

"even on the days I do get to visit her where logical thinking for me would think she should be happy"

Not to say that women don't think logically, but who knows the way they process things, I don't even think they know how it happens.

However, an ex is an ex for a reason. This was a mistake, you were healing fine and you messed up the healing process by allowing yourself to be with someone you had already accepted that things wouldn't have worked out with. Let me tell you, I am making the same mistake RIGHT NOW. Go no contact, heal AGAIN, and redo your life without this female being part of it, you tried it once, it didn't work, you tried it a second time, it didn't work, are you seeing the pattern now?

[talaniman]

Many things can stop a relationship from happening. But only you can stop your own life from moving forward.

You tried, it didn't work. You tried again, and it still didn't work. Move on.

[dwidrick]

Yes I assumed that should be my next move. Just needed to me yelled at again I suppose.

Thanks

[vanheart]

I think you are prolonging the agony.

"I was able to move forward"
Yeah right. What happened with that?

"haven't really considered ourselves officially dating again"
"Neither of us have been very good at expressing that we love each other"
"But right now it is just not in the cards"

"I suggested to her that we just be friends"
You mean break up, right. You are starting to sound like some of my exes...

You are doing the right thing.
Forget this girl.

There's way more.

Long distance sucks. Especially when you are trying to rekindle an ex.
Use our gut. Sounds like you already are, just want her.

"I had a break-up with my ex about 10 or so months ago"
Don't go back. That's your prob.