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mschocbarbie · Jul 1, 2011, 04:47 PM

My boyfriend and I have been dating since 3/19/11. He calls me everyday at the same time and I'm at a loss for words as what to further say to him. We get on fabulously in person. We see each other every other weekend with me either going there or him coming to my residence. We are both in our 50's but we both feel like schoolchildren in love. We go out to many social events and share many things from confidential to sillyness...
However I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him not to call me every night, but on the phone I can hear him yawn... I am retired so I'm a nightowl... he works part-time and is also retired and go to bed at the same hr. every day.
I want to tell him that he's boring me or I'm boring him as I don't know at this juncture what to do... need your help please... p.s. I do love him and we have much in common only face to face... thank you.

talaniman · Jul 1, 2011, 07:33 PM

Just say good night and go to about whatever you do at night, and let him go to bed. Why is this a big deal when otherwise you enjoy each other.

He has his personal routine, you have yours, so why force something that ain't happening?

mschocbarbie · Jul 1, 2011, 07:42 PM

Thank you for the response! I'm just a worry wart and hyper person, so I will do just what you said...

Wondergirl · Jul 1, 2011, 07:43 PM

Set boundaries. Limit the call to five minutes or seven minutes or ten minutes. Let him know you realize it has been a long day for him, so you just are happy to hear his sweet voice before you go to bed. Always end the call with thanks for making you smile

Fr_Chuck · Jul 1, 2011, 07:47 PM

Everyone has their preference, my mom could talk for about a hour ( and she was retired and never went anywhere) she would tell me about people I never knew, about things from the news and what other people told her when she called.

My idea of a great phone call is about 30 seconds and then good bye. So when you are done talking, he is most likely done also, esp if he is yawning. But he most likely had some girlfriend in the past or some great book that said you had a need to "talk"

BK201 · Jul 2, 2011, 05:28 AM

Agreed with everyone, simple plain, tell him with a smile "lets go get some rest, Good night dear" or whichever way you call him. Also, text messages do the trick. If he wants to be engaged with you on the phone, but doesn't know what to talk, send him a good night text telling him a sweet good night. He will sure look at it a couple of times when he feels to contact you again the same night. And that will suffice him.

mschocbarbie · Jul 2, 2011, 03:15 PM

Thank you to everyone thus far who have answered. I will take all the good advice.

Wondergirl · Jul 2, 2011, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by mschocbarbie

Thank you to everyone thus far who have answered. I will take all the good advice.

Let us know how it works out for both of you. Too often we don't hear what happened after someone has asked a question and gotten suggestions here.

mschocbarbie · Jul 10, 2011, 06:54 PM

To everyone who responded to me. My boyfriend and I have worked things out, its just that he explained in person that his work load was very taxing but he found that telephone calls to me relived the stress. We talked things over from Thursday through Sunday and everything between us is great. He's a great guy, yes I now understand that I can talk forever and so can he and I thought that I had to keep the conversation going, but that is not the truth... I wasn't being myself just thinking that it was 1) a chore, 2) women are suppose to 'gab' and its not like that. We are so much very alike, he talks and I talk... we were just both hitting a rough patch... but we are very much in love although we've been together now for four(4) months and I see our relationship going further. Thank you all so very much!