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    Stuntjeff's Avatar
    Stuntjeff Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 4, 2011, 10:03 AM
    Girl problems
    My name is Jeff and I'm 17 and I've been dating this amazing girl for 6 months I've know her since 7th grade and now I'm a jr and I really love her well a week ago I went to watch a movie with her and when I hot to her house she said we need to talk she ended up saying that she thinks we should break up because I never had time for her and when idid she already had plans and that we just grew apart she said that she still loves me and hopefully we will work out but she needs time for now and don't believe her reason why bit I do believe she still loves me cause I hung out with her everyday except for the last week because my little because was over there I felt weird just going over so I didn't but she did want to see me and I thought he was the reason why she broke up with me so I Asked her and I feel that I'm just making things worse I don't want to but I get mad and upset and text her about things sometimes And now I'm just confused and don't know what to do all that I do now is that I love her and want her help so does anyone have any advice
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    May 4, 2011, 03:28 PM

    It sounds as though you had plenty of time for her if you hung out everyday except for last week. Maybe she was just wanting an easy way to let you know that she didn't want to be exclusive anymore. She might want to be able to see other people if the opportunity came up.

    It is always hard when someone wants to break up, but all you can really do is give them the time and space they ask for. It hurts, I know, but try to focus on school and hanging out with your friends for now. Time really will make it easier, even if it doesn't seem that way right now.

    Maybe she will change her mind, maybe she won't.

    Unfortunately it is part of dating and getting to know different people.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 9, 2011, 02:56 PM
    I would recommend, to let her go and respect her decision. I believe that she used that an excuse to break up but that the real reason is another, as to what the real reason is who knows? Trust me, it is not worth it to waste your time finding out. Just leave her and start healing, so that you can start with your next experience in life soon.

    Good Luck,
    Javi
    Terry MJ Carter's Avatar
    Terry MJ Carter Posts: 35, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    May 9, 2011, 03:40 PM

    It might be the case that she found people/friends who understands her more, who make her day brighter, whom she feels secure, comfortable with and who is here whenever she needs her/him, kind of fulfills her needs and wants, a friend, a close one. And she might find it better to remain single rather than being in a relationship.

    You might take an example on yourself. The time when you were single, no girlfriends, less expenses, more free time, hanging out with friends. You simply like had no burden. Think for yourself. You must have been an absolutely different person. People at times rather prefer to be single than being in a relationship where they should like "wait" for a white card from their girlfriend/boyfriend.

    What I'm trying to convey to you here is, that she might be in a better world that she thinks is good for herself or which might even be. Don't try to snatch that world from her just do as she said, let her go.

    As she's told you that you people must be through. Simply respect her decision. Tell her frankly via a text message or personally that you truly respect her decision that you should be through and that you won't like force her to give a second thought on her decision and that it's been a great pleasure to have known her. Simple as it may seem. A text message would do the job, because in that way she might think.. " I thought he loved me or maybe I've hurt him that's why he sent a simple text". Going face to face will make you look like someone's pleading in front of a girl (excuse me if I'm being rude). You'll show lots of emotion which you shouldn't.

    Then do it. Going through means, no more text messages, no more phone calls, no myspace, Facebook or anything that might make you come across her, any means , any contact because maybe one day you find her like online then your heart will control you more than your brain, mind should.

    Go NC; "no contact". If you ever come across her at school. A "hi" I think is sufficient or ask if everything's OK.

    If she tries to bring your break up topic forward,change the topic, immediately find something else to say.

    Girls don't really like someone not giving them the attention they require and as you've been her boyfriend before. She's give a second thought on her own.

    Do it. If she ever was yours, she'd come back if not then you'd know by yourself..

    Catch my point... In this way that won't affect you. If you stress out yourself after her, spend all your time thinking or her or finding solutions once it's over you'll be heartbroken. You'll convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with "the best person in the world." You'll neglect everything, your health, family, studies, friends..

    Think for yourself, no one would ever like to end up like that.

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