Check out some similar questions!

raymel417 · Apr 21, 2011, 07:13 AM

Ok a little bit of background on both of us, I was raised in a loving home with parents that were in my life, I went to a private school, never had to work but now I do. She was raised in a messed up situation, parents divorced and lived with her mom until they had a blowout and now lives with her dad, her parents are not a part of her life at all but she really wants them to be, she went to public school and worked since she was 15.

So yeah two completely different upbringings but you know what they say opposites attract. So now you know a little bit of background on both of us, now time for my situation. We had been dating for 1yr and a half and things were great at the beginning but got a little rocky about 1yr into the relationship. She was living in my house for about a year. A lot of fights and mostly because of me. I would lie to her about stupid things like hanging out with my friends and smoking pot you know stupid things. But that put a huge strain on the relationship. But we worked through it and everything was perfect in my eyes, I have been working on myself to change my lifestyle and be more active because I wouldn't want to go out all the time like she did, but about 6 months later I could tell that she wasn't being the same with me like she used to be, she always wanted to move in with me and get engaged and what not and was always so loving and cute, but everything changed. I confronted her about how she was acting with me and she told me that she just needs time to herself to think about everything.

So I gave her the space she wanted for about a week with no contact and it was impossible to not call her after that. So we talked every now and then but when I tried to bring up our situation she would get annoyed and not want to talk about it. Then she told me she went out on a date, I got really mad and she told me that she didn't like it it that all she can think about was me, but what can I do about it. We had a trip planned out before this situation to go to Vegas for her Birthday. I asked her if we were still going and that she didn't have to come, but she said she wanted to go to see how things felt with me and her.

I thought OK, she must be trying to work on things because she wouldn't come to Vegas with just me on her 21st birthday. So we went and the second night we were there I caught her talking on the phone with some guy in the bathroom. I blew up and told her to get the hell out of my life and to go get a plane ticket back home. She begged me not to do this that she was extremely sorry that she doesn't know what she was thinking, that she was drunk, blah blah blah... So she ended up staying and we had a pretty good time the rest of the trip.

We get back to Miami and she still doesn't know if she wants to be with me. She goes out all the time partying with her friends and to the beach, but she texts me once in a while throughout the day asking me how I'm doing, what I've been doing, if I'm hanging out with girls, stuff like that. Now we started hanging out more often and going to eat and going over her house for a little bit and the texts turned into her calling me throughout the day like it was back to normal. Even calling me at night when she was going to sleep to go to sleep with me on the phone. But when it comes to night time she just wants to be with her friends and go out.

We went out last night for the first time in a while and it was a really good time. I really enjoyed being with her and I could tell that she did too but didn't want to make it too obvious like if she's playing hard to get. But still nothing has changed and she says that she needs more time. I keep asking her what she thinks about us and she just says that she needs more time. More time! That she is madly in love with me, that she doesn't see anybody else in her future but me, that I'm the love of her life, that this is really hard on her ( she doesn't show it)

Its been 1 month and a half now and I'm so confused. What should I do? What am I doing wrong? Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

amicon · Apr 21, 2011, 07:31 AM

She doesn't want a relationship,she wants an on-call 'bf' whenever she feels like it.

Walk away and give her all the time in the world.

raymel417 · Apr 21, 2011, 08:36 AM

Yea that's what it feels like, its just really hard to just walk away.

amicon · Apr 21, 2011, 10:04 AM

It's what you should do.

It's about respecting yourself and not allow people to walk all over you.

raymel417 · Apr 21, 2011, 10:19 AM

I agree with you 100%, I know its what I should do and its what I'm going to do.

amicon · Apr 21, 2011, 11:04 AM

Good luck!

raymel417 · Apr 21, 2011, 11:21 AM

Thanks I need it!

talaniman · Apr 21, 2011, 06:35 PM

When faced with a confused female, guys should walk away and leave them alone, or else their confusion becomes yours.

Talaniman Rule - When you get dumped, don't keep going back to get dumped again. Thats crazy!

Don't you know how many other females are out there that are not confused (YET)??