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cdarrahl · Nov 8, 2009, 05:50 PM

We were dating for four and a half years, I've been through 2 deployments with him while he was in the army. Then, after a year of living together, he brakes up with me. He said it was to rejoin (because he knows how I hate having to be apart while he deploys) and his old unit was set to deploy this November. However, since breaking up, he has seemingly abandoned his idea of rejoining, and has instead worked on getting his little brother on his feet and working with him. He has visited with me during their opposite shift days, because he lives an hour from work and his work is about 15mins from me now (I have a new apartment, he is living at home). We have been hanging out and occasionally becoming intimate for this time, and I thought we were on a path to reconciliation... until today. He told me he has slept with someone else, I don't know the exact details, but he said he might not come over much at all anymore either, because his brother has been getting earlier shifts with him and he doesn't have that extra time for me anymore. Or is it because he is sleeping with someone else? Is he even sleeping with someone else for real? What could really be going on here, I mean, I've been trying like hell to get back with him, and now he is sleeping around? Does he really want me back, or am I nothing to him? I don't even know what to say to him. What should I do?

Synnen · Nov 8, 2009, 08:11 PM

He's not giving you mixed signals---he broke up with you, and he's got another girl.

Start by not contacting him anymore, and by refusing to take his calls/texts/emails.

Find a hobby that you love.

Go out, meet new people.

Give up on this guy, because you're not going to get him back.

And really--if you think about it--why do you want him? He apparently lied to you about re-enlisting. He won't go out of his way to see you--but isn't against getting a little booty when it fits into his schedule. And he's certainly not waiting for you!

Find someone who will treat you better, in my opinion.

I wish · Nov 9, 2009, 05:54 AM

You already broke up. Leave each other alone. You've become friends with benefits.

By continually keeping in contact with him, you will over-analzye all the details and fall for the demon of false hope. All of which are unhealthy behaviors.

Don't stay in contact, leave each other alone. Focus on healing from the break up and not prolonging the pain and suffering.