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BJGJohnston · Mar 30, 2011, 10:59 AM

I have just brought my niece to live with me from her moms house. Here is the story.

She lived with her father until she started to runaway and lie and lie. From there her father sent her to a girls home. He had thought that it would do her good, which it didn't. From there she went to move to her mothers house. She ran away again. Her mother had a boyfriend and is abusive. She had charged the boyfriend with sexual assault. When they went to court the court found her to be lying. She has always lived with her father. After they found him not guilty she had admitted the truth. So off she went to live with her mother and of course she has stated that she lied about lying. The boyfriend has beaten up my sister and has cheated and left her for a while. Recently my niece has runaway again, and that is how she is with me. In the past she has also threatened her brother to tell the police about sexual assault. Please help me... I want to make this work and I am desperate. Here are the rules for her: No Smoking, No Drugs, No Drama, Help around the house, Need to get in a sport, Need to get into anger management, No Lying. I am her last option and I need help, because I do not have children.

sharper11 · Mar 30, 2011, 12:01 PM

You have taken on a big responsibility and it is normal to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Your niece sounds like she needs a good amount of counseling (therapy). Her actions are of someone who is acting out, most likely cause by a deeper problem.

This is the only advice I can give. It is obvious she does not follow rules, so setting them may only cause her to break them, and disappoint you.

I wish I had better advice.

DoulaLC · Mar 30, 2011, 02:03 PM

I agree with sharper... this is more than you are likely going to be able to handle without professional assistance.

You didn't mention her age, but check with her school or doctor for outside counselor suggestions. Contact several and interview them to see if you feel it will be a good fit. Once you get started, go as a family so that you can learn ways to help her as well as what to be aware of. No doubt she is a master at manipulation and deception by now. It would likely be helpful for her to go on her own as well. The counselor will guide you.

Be aware that while part of her may be grateful that you took her in, part of her may resent the rules, and be wary of whether you will go the distance with her.

I wish you well and much success!