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    Karmalarma's Avatar
    Karmalarma Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 31, 2007, 04:39 PM
    Niece is ?
    Hello I have a relationship with my niece we have been close for about 4 yrs or more , since I met my boyfriend and I have plans with him she gets so mad she sends me hateful ,mean text messages that are so upsetting I get depressed for a week or two at a time. She says that I don't care and she is ''done with me'' she says that it is mean that I am sometimes busy with him. I have made plans with her and she cancels them at the last minute but when she is busy it's a different story. She is also in a really bad relationship with an abusive boyfriend, I have helped her so many times I cannot count I have taken her to safehouse meetings and one day she wanted to move all his belongings out and I drove over there and helped her carry some really heavy things out and wouldn't you know it he was back in the next day, then who got the blame ,ME for "talking her into doing it'' I am at a loss anymore of what to do what sense does all this make?
    jrb252000's Avatar
    jrb252000 Posts: 410, Reputation: 28
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    #2

    Jul 31, 2007, 04:44 PM
    Your niece sounds jealous of your relationship. Sometimes no matter how much you help people those people have to hit rock bottom to get the point. If you try and make time just for her and she cancels the plans there isn't much you can do. Let her know you are there for her but you will no longer be a doormat.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
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    #3

    Aug 1, 2007, 11:48 AM
    She's jealous and manipulating you into giving her more attention. She needs to learn that adults cannot treat relationships this way and you are not her doormat. You have every right to have your own relationship and your own life. The whole world does not revolve around her, and sometimes that's a hard lesson to learn, but its true for all of us! Don't let her guilt trip work on you. Let her know that you'd rather have no relationship with her at all than a bad one where she treats you poorly.
    She might pout at first, but she'll get over it.

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