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Hairdresser23 · Feb 12, 2011, 05:47 PM

Hi, can any one help me.. I'm a 23 rear old girl, been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years.. Last year [2010] we had sex in May, August, September and then in December. That was 4 times in one year. We both work. We live together, but not married.. I question him to why we don't have sex, and no matter how many times I ask, he never gives me a straight answer. So I still don't know?
We argue because we don't have sex, he says he don't want sex because we argue... He tells me he loves me, but never shows me. I've lost interest in spicing things up as he's turned me down and I've felt humiliated.

Is it really worth me staying with someone who doesn't find me attractive.

Please help me

CravenMorhead · Feb 13, 2011, 10:16 AM

Oy. This is a tough one. Basic questions apply here I suppose. Besides the not having sex thing, what is the stress level like here. IS work and money keeping you up late at night? Are you both medically fit? Do either of you have any chemical dependencies?

Have you talked instead of argued? This might be something, if you're truly invested in him, that couples counselling would be worth doing.

How is everything else in the relationship?

It sounds like your libidos are mismatched but I got a gut feeling that this isn't the case.

Anyhow, you have two choices.
1). Leave. You're not compatible and it is just painful at this point.
2). Stay and work things out. Figure out what is going on and fix it. What has changed in the past few years that have caused this? Assumptions? Life? What has been allowed to enter this relationship?

It is completely up to you.

jenniepepsi · Feb 13, 2011, 06:28 PM

Craven covered it all pretty much.
IMO if you are not happy with the relationship, and he is not willing to work on it, its not going to work. Either he needs to work with you to come to a compromize on what is bothering you, than it is just not going to work.

If you or him are relious, possibly talk to your spiritual leader. And possibly you yourself could invest in a book called 'the love dare' in which you secretly follow a plan to re-woo him. :)

bunnyT613 · Feb 21, 2011, 08:59 PM

It might be because of a previous experience in his lafe that was traumatizing, like being molested, or it could be something simple to fix like your smell down there. Have you tried having sex while you're angry? I heard it's the best lol, but find out if there is something in the past, because if there is, it's deffinately trearing you two appeart