[siany8585]

Im 25 years old and have a gorgeous 4 year old son.
His biological father hasn't had any contact what so ever since he was 1 years old, by no contact I mean, no letters, txt's, phone calls, birthday/xmas cards or presents and has given no financial support at all to me or my son.
Im writing a will because in the event of my death I need to know that my son would be loved and in good hands, I have a partner (not yet married), he has brought my son up since the age of 1, as far as they are both concerned my partner is my sons daddy and my son is my partners son also.
In the event of my death I would like my son to go to either my mum or partner (if married),
What I'm basically asking is does his biological dad have any rights at all?
I did read that the guardian is likely to be a person known to the child or perhaps someone such as a step-parent who has been living with the child.

I really need an answer for peace of mind, his biological dad was never around throughout my pregnancy and in the 1st year of his life he probably was around a grand total of five months, he tried committing suicide and is on anti depressants - all emotional blackmail towards me.

I like to add he is on his birth certificate and not seeing him was completely his decision.

Thanks Sian

[JudyKayTee]

The father has "first rights" to raise the child if you die, followed by other members of your immediate family. This changes, of course, if the father is a danger to the child. An unmarried "partner" has no rights at all.

There are numerous court cases on this subject and the decision "usually" is as I've described.

Now, if the father allows the child to be adopted, then the stepfather becomes the father and there is no problem.

Would a Court just hand your child over? No, probably not. There would be a period when the child slowly became acquainted with the stranger who is his father. During that time frame very possibly the child would reside with grandparents.

I trust an Attorney is preparing the Will for you in the form required by your State?

[ScottGem]

A child is not a piece of property or asset that can be willed. You can express your preference in a will, but if the bio father challenges there is a good chance he will get custody. Your best bet is marrying your partner and having him adopt.

[Fr_Chuck]

Agree you can merely say what you would like to happen with child, but that is not binding, the person with legal rights to child who wishes to use them.

The bio father will have first rights, as would then your parents or other siblings. The unmarried boyfriend has none at all, even if married, unless he adopts the child, he will have almost no chance of keeping the child

[JudyKayTee]

I think this is a good time - again - to recommend that an Attorney prepare any and all important legal documents and that includeds living wills, Wills, P/A, anything that could be challenged.

I've seen carefully prepared Wills, well thought out, that were NOT executed by NY Law and, therefore, could not be probated.

[AK lawyer]

I think this is a good time - again - to recommend that an Attorney prepare any and all important legal documents and that includeds living wills, Wills, P/A, anything that could be challenged.

I've seen carefully prepared Wills, well thought out, that were NOT executed by NY Law and, therefore, could not be probated.

All true, but with regard to who takes care of the child should Siany8585 die, the will wouldn't have to be challenged. It could simply be disregarded.

So Siany8585's best course of action for arriving at her expressed objective would be the following:

1. Obtain a child custody and support order from the court;
2. Marry her "partner" (usually needed for a step-parent adoption); and then
3. Encourage her husband to adopt the child.