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Flower21 · Jan 24, 2011, 11:47 AM

JudyKayTee · Jan 24, 2011, 11:48 AM

As often as the Court orders visitation

What does the Court order say? If he does not have an Order he should get one. It would also cover support.

Otherwise it is totally at the discretion of the child's mother because she has "possession" of the child.

Flower21 · Jan 24, 2011, 03:16 PM

How do we get one?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 24, 2011, 04:08 PM

"WE" don't, Your partner does.

Your partner should have filed for either joint custody or at least visits when the child was born.
Is the partner listed on the birth certificate, if not has there been a determination of paternity?

But he hires an attorney, files a motion in family court for visits.

How close you live to each other will be one issue of course, if in the same town or easy to get to, he could ask for every other week.
At a min every other weekend and one night during the week is common if you live close enough.
Then you deal with every other holiday and a number of weeks in the summer

Flower21 · Jan 26, 2011, 02:31 PM

Well first the mother of the baby didn't tell my partner had had a baby, he found out of her friend because they had fell out. She never wanted my partner to know, and his daughter was 1 before he even knew he had a daughter, and now the mother is making it very difficult for him to see her even though he has been seeing her for a year so I would just like to know what we can do? And it is "we" because we are engaged to be married and have just had our own baby boy. So she needs to get to know her baby brother.

cdad · Jan 26, 2011, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Flower21

Well first the mother of the baby didn't tell my partner had had a baby, he found out of her friend because they had fell out. she never wanted my partner to know, and his daughter was 1 before he even knew he had a daughter, and now the mother is making it very difficult for him to see her even though he has been seeing her for a year so I would just like to know what we can do? And it is "we" because we are engaged to be married and have just had our own baby boy. So she needs to get to know her baby brother.

There is no "we" in this as far as the eyes of the law. This is between the mother and father involved. The only time it becomes a "we" question is when there may be an adoption taking place where you will be adopting the child.

What "he" needs to do is file in court for his rights to the child. Support and visitation can be ordered by the courts. That way he knows he can see his child on a regular basis.

JudyKayTee · Jan 26, 2011, 06:18 PM

You have no legal standing. And, yes, your partner needs to file for visitation and/or custody. Does he pay support?

The Court will order DNA testing.

You are engaged to be married and have a baby. When do you plan to marry? Without that marriage license you have absolutely no input in this at all.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 26, 2011, 06:20 PM

Even if you get married, again there is no "we" while it may seem like picking at words, in legal terms, you have no standing at all, you after married are just a step mom and only the dad will have legal rights with the child.

Flower21 · Jan 27, 2011, 03:01 AM

Thanks for all the replys , my partner saw his daughter yesterday and the mother is now saying he can have her for 1 day for 4 hours, but he will see next Tuesday , because she changes her mind , and when he goes to there house the mother hardly talks her aunt does all the talking. So he will have to see

ScottGem · Jan 27, 2011, 04:39 AM

You don't get it! Unless he goes to court and gets the court to order a visitation schedule, then he's at the mercy of the mother's whims. She can play these games with him to her heart's content.

The only way to resolve this is to get the court to order custody and visitation. This should have been done as soon as the child was born!

Flower21 · Jan 27, 2011, 04:59 AM

Ok, if he had known that she had acctually had a baby he could have but she never wanted him to know. We need to save up for solicitors fees before we do anything, and she said she doesn't want a DNA test.

cdad · Jan 27, 2011, 05:08 AM

Originally Posted by Flower21

Ok, if he had known that she had acctually had a baby he could have but she never wanted him to know. We need to save up for solicitors fees before we do anything, and she said she doesn't want a DNA test.

What "she" says has no bearing on this. If the courts order a DNA test and they should she can't refuse or she will sit in jail until she co-operates. At this point she may not want one because she gears he may not be the father. And if I were him I would demand one before taking on the responsibility.