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natalie21red · Jan 16, 2011, 10:07 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years we also have a 5 year old son together He hasn't been the perfect boyfriend in the past and recently I feel like I've woken up and realised I shouldn't settle for 2nd best. I told him I needed a break wasn't sure what I wanted he moved out for 1 week then returned I truly believe that this was a major wake up call to him and he is now like a different man making an effort being nice etc.. He is now back home with me and my son but the problem is I think its too little to late and not sure I love him like that anymore! I feel so guilty as he making such an effort and I am struggling to let him get close to me he is a brilliant dad which makes it even harder. I have been honest with him and said we will give it one last shot and that I am still unsure of my feelings and that there is no gureentees that it will work or that my feelings will change. I just don't know how to tell him that I don't feel its going to work I wish I could change the way I feel and love him again but I don't think I can he has only been back a few days but I am really struggling to come to terms with how I am feeling, I'm so confussed and don't know where to start I know this will kill him if I end it for good but don't I deserve to be happy too!!

jeje409 · Jan 16, 2011, 10:12 AM

What are your ages?

natalie21red · Jan 16, 2011, 10:25 AM

I'm 25 and he is 30

Wondergirl · Jan 16, 2011, 10:32 AM

If you're in a long-time relationship (with a child!), one of the partners does not take a "break." That's not how things are done.

I think it's time to get some couples counseling, at least for a few sessions. You need an unbiased person to act as referee in this relationship and ask both of you some hard questions, help you set goals, and make the two of you accountable to the counselor and to each other.

Would the two of you be willing to do that?

talaniman · Jan 16, 2011, 10:53 AM

You both deserve to be happy, and you both have to be honest. You took him back after a few days to give him another chance, and a few days is not a chance. That's not an honest effort on your part. Nor is it fair.

You should have just been honest, and said NO, because your mind is made up already. Either give him a fair chance and a reasonable amount of time, or stop wasting both of your time and efforts, and tel him you have reached your decision, and he doesn't get that fair chance to change your mind.

That at least would be honest, wouldn't it? Waiting while he tries his best, and then rejecting him anyway, will hurt even more, and neither of you will be happy.